Bared to You - Chapter 22

Gideon tossed the makeup remover wipe in the
trash. Then he grabbed a towel to throw over the
puddle he’d left on the floor and toed off his
shoes. To my utter delight, he began stripping out
of his wet clothes.
Watching him raptly, I said, “You feel guilty
because she still loves you.”
“I do, yes. I knew her husband. He was a good
guy and he was crazy about her, until he figured
out she didn’t feel the same way and things fell
apart.”
He looked at me as he peeled his shirt off. “I
couldn’t figure out why he let it get to him. He was
married to the girl he wanted, they lived in a
different country away from me, so what was his
problem? Now, I understand. If you loved
someone else, Eva, it’d shred me to pieces, every
single day. It’d kill me even if you were with me
and not him. But unlike Giroux, I wouldn’t let you
go. Maybe I wouldn’t have all of you, but you’d still
be mine and I’d take what I could get.”
My fingers laced in my lap. “That’s what scares
me, Gideon. You don’t know what you’re worth.”
“Actually, I do. Twelve bill—”
“Shut up.” My head spun and I pressed my
fingertips to my eyes. “It shouldn’t be such a
mystery that women fall in love with you and stay in
love. Did you know that Magdalene kept her hair
long hoping it’d remind you of Corinne?”
He dropped his slacks and frowned at me.
“Why?”
I sighed at his cluelessness. “Because she
believes Corinne is who you want.”
“Then she’s not paying attention.”
“Isn’t she? Corinne told me she talks to you
almost every day.”
“Not quite. I’m often not available. You know
how busy I am.” His gaze took on the heated look I
was so familiar with. I knew he was thinking about
the times he got busy with me.
“That’s nuts, Gideon. Her calling every day.
That’s stalking.” Which reminded me of her
assertion that he’d been as possessive over her
as he was about me. That niggled at me in a
terrible way.
“Where are you going with this?” he asked, in a
voice laced with warm amusement.
“Don’t you get it? You drive women off the deep
end because you’re the ultimate. You’re the grand
prize. If a woman can’t have you, they know they’re
settling for less than the best. So they can’t think
about not having you. They just think of crazy ways
to try and get you.”
“Except for the one I want,” he retorted dryly,
“who spends a lot of time running in the opposite
direction.”
I stared unabashedly, drinking him in as he
stood naked in front of me. “Answer one question
for me, Gideon. Why do you want me, when you
can have your pick of perfection instead? And I’m
not fishing for compliments or reassurances. I’m
asking an honest question.”
He caught me up and moved us into the
bedroom. “Eva, if you don’t stop thinking of us as
temporary, I’m going to take you over my knee
and make damn sure you like it.”
Setting me down in a chair, he went to rifle
through my drawers.
I watched him pulling out underwear, yoga
pants, and a top. “Have you forgotten I sleep in the
nude with you?”
“We’re not staying here.” He faced me. “I don’t
trust Cary not to bring more intoxicated jerks
home and once we turn in for the night I’ll be
drugged on the medication Dr. Petersen
prescribed and possibly unable to protect you. So
we’re going to my place.”
I looked down at my twisted hands, thinking
about how I might need protection from Gideon,
too. “I’ve been down this road with Cary before,
Gideon. I can’t just hole up at your place and hope
he comes out of it on his own. He needs me to be
around more than I have been.”
“Eva.” Gideon brought me my clothes and
crouched in front of me. “I know you need to
support Cary. We’ll figure out how tomorrow.”
I cupped his face. “Thank you.”
“I need you, too, though,” he said quietly.
“We need each other.”
He pushed to his feet. Moving back to the
dresser, he pulled open his drawers and grabbed
clothes for himself.
Standing, I began to dress. “Listen…”
He pulled a pair of low-slung jeans on. “Yes?”
“I feel tons better now that I know the score, but
Corinne is still going to be a problem for me.” I
paused with my shirt in my hands. “You wanna nip
her hopes in the bud real quick. Stow the guilt,
Gideon, and start weaning her off.”
He sat on the edge of the bed to pull on his
socks. “She’s a friend, Eva, and she’s in a rough
spot. It’s a cruel time to cut her off.”
“Think carefully, Gideon. I have exes in my past,
too. You’re setting the precedent now for how I’ll
handle them. I’m taking my cues from you.”
He stood with a scowl. “You’re threatening me.”
“I prefer to see it as coercion. Relationships
work both ways. You’re not her only friend. She
can find someone more appropriate to lean on in
her time of crisis.”
We grabbed what we needed and walked back
into the living room. I saw the mess left behind—
an aqua-hued bra beneath an end table and blood
spray on my cream sectional —and I wished Cary
was still around to smack some sense into.
“I’m digging into it with him tomorrow,” I bit out,
my jaw tight with anger and worry. “Goddamn it, I
should’ve decked him when I had the chance. I
should’ve knocked him out cold, and then locked
him up in his room until he gets his brain working
again.”
Gideon’s hand at the small of my back rubbed
soothingly. “It’ll be better to do that tomorrow,
when he’s alone and hungover. More effective that
way.”
Angus was waiting for us when we got downstairs.
I was about to climb into the back of the limo when
Gideon cursed under his breath, stopping me.
“What?” I asked him.
“I forgot something.”
“Let me get my keys.” I reached for the
overnight bag Gideon was holding, which had my
purse inside.
“No need. I have a set.” He shot me an
unapologetic grin when my brows rose. “I had
copies made before I gave them back to you.”
“Seriously?”
“If you’d paid attention”—he kissed the top of
my head—“you might’ve noticed that you’ve had
the key to my place on your key ring since I
returned it.”
I gaped after him as he darted past the
doorman and back into the building. I
remembered the torment of those four days when
I’d thought we’d broken up and the excruciating
pain I’d felt when those keys slid out of the
envelope and into my palm.
I’d had the key to being with him all along.
Shaking my head, I looked around at my
adopted city, loving everything about it and feeling
grateful for the crazy well of happiness I’d found
here.
Gideon and I still had so much work ahead of
us. As much as we loved each other, it was no
guarantee that we’d survive our personal wounds.
But we communicated, we were honest with each
other, and God knew we were both too stubborn
to quit without a fight.
Gideon reappeared just as two large, beautifully
groomed poodles walked by with their equally
coiffed owner.
I climbed into the limo. As we pulled away from
the curb, Gideon tugged me onto his lap and
cuddled me close. “We had a rough night, but we
got through it.”
“Yeah, we did.” Tipping my head back, I offered
my mouth for a kiss. He obliged me with one that
was slow and sweet—a simple reaffirmation of
our precious, complicated, maddening, necessary
connection.
Cupping his nape, I ran my fingers through his
silky hair. “I can’t wait to get you back in bed.”
He gave a sexy little growl and attacked my
neck with tickling nips and kisses, banishing our
ghosts and their shadows.
At least for a little while…

Categories: Bared to You

Bared to You - Chapter 21

“Excuse me.” I pushed back from the table and
searched for Gideon. I saw him at the bar and
went to him.
He was just turning away from the bartender
with two glasses in his hands when I intercepted
him. I took my drink and gulped it down, my teeth
aching as the cubes of ice knocked against them.
“Eva—” There was a soft note of chastisement
in his voice.
“I’m leaving,” I said flatly, stepping around him to
set my empty glass on the bar top. “I don’t
consider that running, because I’m telling you in
advance and giving you the option of coming with
me.”
He exhaled harshly and I could see that he
understood my mood. He knew I knew. “I can’t
leave.”
I turned away.
He caught my arm. “You know I can’t stay if you
go. You’re upset over nothing, Eva.”
“Nothing?” I stared at where his hand gripped
me. “I warned you I get upset and jealous. This
time, you’ve given me good reason.”
“Warning me is supposed to excuse you when
you get ridiculous about it?” His face was relaxed,
his voice low and calm. No one looking from a
distance would pick up on the tension between us,
but it was there in his eyes. Burning lust and icy
fury. He was so good at putting those two
together.
“Who’s ridiculous? What about Daniel, the
personal trainer? Or Martin, a member of my
stepfamily?” I leaned closer and whispered, “I’ve
never fucked either of them, let alone agreed to a
marriage! I sure as hell don’t talk to them every
damn day!”
Abruptly, he caught me by the waist and hauled
me up tight against him. “You need to be fucked
now,” he hissed in my ear, nipping the lobe with
his teeth. “I shouldn’t have made us wait.”
“Maybe you were planning ahead,” I shot back.
“Saving it up in case an old flame popped back
into your life, one you’d prefer to screw instead.”
Gideon tossed back his drink; then he secured
me to his side with a steely arm around my waist
and led me through the crowd to the door. He
pulled his smartphone out of his pocket and
ordered the limo brought around. By the time we
reached the street, the long, sleek car was there.
Gideon pushed me through the door Angus held
open and told him, “Drive around the block until I
say otherwise.”
Then he slid in directly behind me, so closely I
could feel his breath against my bare back. I
scrambled toward the opposite seat, determined
to get away from him….
“Stop,” he snapped.
I sank to my knees on the carpeted floor,
breathing hard. I could run to the ends of the earth
and I still wouldn’t be able to escape the fact that
Corinne Giroux had to be better for Gideon than I
was. She was calm and cool, a soothing
presence even to me—the person freaking out
over the unwelcome fact of her existence. My
worst nightmare.
His hand twisted into my loose hair, restraining
me. His spread legs surrounded mine, his grip
tightening so that my head was pulled back gently
to touch his shoulder. “I’m going to give you what
we both need, Eva. We’re going to fuck as long
as it takes to dull the edge enough to get through
dinner. And you’re not going to worry about
Corinne, because while she’s inside the ballroom,
I’ll be deep inside you.”
“Yes,” I whispered, licking dry lips.
“You forget who submits, Eva,” he said gruffly.
“I’ve given up control for you. I’ve bent and
adjusted for you. I’ll do anything to keep you and
make you happy. But I can’t be tamed or topped.
Don’t mistake indulgence for weakness.”
I swallowed hard, my blood on fire for him.
“Gideon…”
“Reach up with both hands and hold on to the
grab handle above the window. Don’t let go until I
tell you, understand?”
I did as he ordered, pushing my hands through
the leather loop. As my grip secured, my body
sparked to life, making me aware of how right he
was about what I needed. He knew me so well,
this lover of mine.
Shoving his hands into my bodice, Gideon
squeezed my full, aching breasts. When he rolled
and tugged my nipples, my head lolled against
him, the tension leaving my body in a rush.
“God.” He nuzzled his mouth against my temple.
“It’s so perfect when you give yourself over to me
like that…all at once, as if it’s a huge relief.”
“Fuck me,” I begged, needing the connection.
“Please.”
Releasing my hair, he reached under my dress
and pulled my panties down my thighs. His jacket
flew past me to land on the seat; then his hand
pushed between my legs from the front. He
growled at finding me wet and swollen. “You were
made for me, Eva. You can’t go long without me
inside you.”
Still he primed me, running his skilled fingers
through my cleft, spreading the moisture over my
clit and the lips of my sex. He pushed two fingers
into me, scissoring them, preparing me for the
thrust of his long, thick cock.
“Do you want me, Gideon?” I asked hoarsely,
needing to ride his thrusting fingers, but
hampered by how far I had to reach to grab the
strap.
“More than my next breath.” His lips moved over
my throat and the top of my shoulder, the warm
velvet of his tongue sliding seductively across my
skin. “I can’t go long without you either, Eva.
You’re an addiction…my obsession…”
His teeth bit gently into my flesh, conveying his
animal need with a rough sound of desire. All the
while he fucked me with his fingers, his other hand
massaging my clit, making me come again and
again from the simultaneous stimulation.
“Gideon!” I gasped, when my damp fingers
began to slip from the leather.
His hands left me and I heard the erotic rasp of
his zipper lowering. “Let go and lie on your back
with your legs spread.”
I moved to the seat and stretched along it,
offering my body to him in quivering anticipation.
His gaze met mine, his face briefly lit by a passing
swathe of headlights.
“Don’t be afraid.” He came over me, setting his
weight onto me with excruciating care.
“I’m too horny to be scared.” I caught him and
pulled my body up to press against the hardness
of his. “I want you.”
His cock head nudged against the lips of my
sex. With a flex of his hips, he pushed into me, his
breath hissing just as mine did at the searing
connection. I went lax against the seat, my fingers
barely clinging to his lean waist.
“I love you,” I whispered, watching his face as
he began to move. Every inch of my skin burned
as if from the sun, and my chest was so tight with
longing and emotion that it was hard to breathe.
“And I need you, Gideon.”
“You have me,” he whispered, his cock sliding
in and out. “I couldn’t be more yours.”
I quivered and tensed, my hips meeting his
relentlessly measured drives. I climaxed with a
breathless cry, shuddering as the ecstasy rippled
through my sex, milking him until he grunted and
started powering into me.
“Eva.”
I rocked into his ferocious lunges, urging him
on. He clutched at me, riding me hard and fast. My
head thrashed and I moaned shamelessly, loving
the feel of him, that decadent sensation of being
possessed and ruthlessly pleasured.
We were wild for each other, fucking like feral
beasts, and I was so turned on by our primal lust I
thought I’d die from the orgasm building inside
me.
“You’re so good at this, Gideon. So good…”
He gripped my buttock and yanked me up to
meet his next thrust, hitting the end of me, forcing
a gasp of pleasure/pain from my throat. I came
again, clenching down hard on him.
“Ah, God. Eva.” With a serrated groan, he
erupted violently, flooding me with his heat.
Pinning my hips, he ground against me, emptying
himself as deep in me as he could get.
When he finished, he sucked in a harsh breath
and gathered my hair in his hands, kissing the
side of my damp throat. “I wish you knew what you
do to me. I wish I could tell you.”
I held him tightly. “I can’t help it that I’m stupid
over you. It’s just too much, Gideon. It’s—”
“—uncontrollable.” He started over again,
thrusting rhythmically. Leisurely. As if we had all
the time in the world. Thickening and lengthening
with each push and pull.
“And you need control.” I lost my breath on a
particularly masterful stroke.
“I need you, Eva.” His gaze was fierce on my
face as he moved inside me. “I need you.”
Gideon didn’t leave my side, or allow me to leave
his, the rest of the evening. He kept his right hand
linked with my left all the way through dinner, once
again choosing to eat one-handed rather than
release his hold on me.
Corinne—who’d taken a seat on the other side
of him at our table—gave him a curious look. “I
seem to remember you being right-handed.”
“I still am,” he said, lifting our joined hands from
under the table and kissing my fingertips. I felt
foolish and insecure when he did that—and
conscious of Corinne’s scrutiny.
Unfortunately, the romantic gesture didn’t keep
him from talking to Corinne throughout the meal,
not me—which left me feeling fidgety and
unhappy. I saw more of the back of Gideon’s head
than his face.
“At least it’s not chicken.”
I turned my head toward the man sitting beside
me. I’d been so focused on trying to eavesdrop on
Gideon’s conversation that I hadn’t paid any mind
to our tablemates.
“I like chicken,” I said. And I had liked the tilapia
served for dinner—I’d cleaned my plate.
“Not rubberized, certainly.” He grinned and
suddenly looked much younger than his pure white
hair would suggest. “Ah, there’s a smile,” he
murmured. “And it’s a beautiful one.”
“Thank you.” I introduced myself.
“Dr. Terrence Lucas,” he said. “But I prefer
Terry.”
“Dr. Terry. It’s lovely to meet you.”
He smiled again. “Just Terry, Eva.”
Over the course of the few minutes we’d
spoken, I’d come to believe Dr. Lucas wasn’t a
whole lot older than me, just prematurely gray.
Aside from that, his face was handsome and
unlined, his green eyes intelligent and kind. I
revised my guesstimate of his age to be mid-tolate
thirties.
“You look as bored as I feel,” he said. “These
events raise a considerable amount of money for
the shelter, but they can be dull. Would you like to
accompany me to the bar? I’ll buy you a drink.”
Beneath the table, I tested Gideon’s grip by
flexing my hand. His tightened.
“What are you doing?” he murmured.
Looking over my shoulder, I saw him watching
me. Then I watched his gaze lift as Dr. Lucas
stood behind me. Gideon’s gaze noticeably
cooled.
“She’s going to alleviate the boredom of being
ignored, Cross,” Terry said, setting his hands on
the back of my chair, “by spending time with
someone who’s more than happy to pay attention
to such a beautiful woman.”
I was immediately uncomfortable, aware of the
crackling animosity between the two men. I
tugged on his hand, but Gideon wouldn’t release
me.
“Walk away, Terry,” Gideon warned.
“You’ve been so preoccupied with Mrs. Giroux,
you didn’t even notice when I sat at your table.”
Terry’s smile took on an edge. “Eva. Shall we?”
“Don’t move, Eva.”
I shivered at the ice in Gideon’s voice, but felt
stung enough to say, “It’s not his fault he has a
point.”
Gideon’s grip tightened painfully. “Not now.”
Terry’s gaze moved to my face. “You don’t have
to tolerate him talking to you that way. All the
money in the world doesn’t give anyone the right
to order you around.”
Infuriated and horribly embarrassed, I looked at
Gideon. “Crossfire.”
I wasn’t sure I could use the safeword outside of
the bedroom, but he released me as if I’d burned
him. I shoved my chair back and threw my napkin
onto my plate. “Excuse me. Both of you.”
With my clutch in hand, I walked away from the
table, my stride easy and smooth. I made a
beeline toward the restrooms, intending to freshen
my makeup and collect myself, but then I saw the
lighted exit sign and went with my urge to bail.
I pulled out my smartphone when I hit the
sidewalk and texted Gideon; Not running. Just
leaving.
I managed to hail a passing cab, and headed
home to nurse my anger.
I was jonesing for a hot bath and a bottle of wine
when I reached my apartment. Shoving my key
into the lock, I turned the knob and stepped into a
porn video.
In the few shocked seconds it took for my brain
to register what I was seeing, I stood riveted on
the threshold, flooding the hallway behind me with
blaring technopop. There were so many body
parts involved, I had time to hastily slam the door
behind me before I pieced them all together. One
woman was spread-eagled on the floor. Another
woman’s face was in her crotch. Cary was
banging the hell out of her while another man was
drilling him in the ass.
I threw my head back and screamed bloody
murder, completely fed up with everyone in my life.
And because I was competing with the sound
system, I ripped off one of my heels and threw it in
that direction. The CD skipped, which jolted the
ménage a quatre in progress on my living room
floor into awareness of my presence. I limped
over and shut off the volume; then faced the lot of
them.
“Get the fuck out of my house,” I snapped.
“Right now.”
“Who the hell is that?” the redhead at the
bottom of the pile asked. “Your wife?”
There was a brief flash of embarrassment and
guilt on Cary’s face, and then he shot me a cocky
smile. “My roommate. There’s room for more,
baby girl.”
“Cary Taylor. Don’t push me,” I warned. “It’s
really, really not a good night.”
The dark-haired male on top disengaged from
Cary and stood, sauntering toward me. As he got
closer, I saw his hazel eyes were unnaturally
dilated and the pulse in his neck was throbbing
viciously. “I can make it better,” he offered with a
leer.
leer.
“Back the fuck up.” I adjusted my stance,
preparing to ward him off physically if necessary.
“Leave her alone, Ian,” Cary snapped, pushing
to his feet.
“Come on, baby girl,” Ian coaxed, making me
sick by using Cary’s pet name for me. “You need
a good time. Let me show you one.”
One minute he was inches in front of me, the
next he was sailing into the couch with a scream.
Gideon moved into place between me and the
others, vibrating with fury. “Take it to your room,
Cary,” he bit out. “Or take it somewhere else.”
Ian was squealing on my sofa, his nose
spraying blood despite the two hands he tried to
staunch it with.
Cary snatched his jeans off the floor. “You’re not
my fucking mother, Eva.”
I sidestepped around Gideon. “Wasn’t screwing
up with Trey enough of a fucking lesson for you,
you idiot?”
“This isn’t about Trey!”
“Who’s Trey?” The bottle blonde asked as she
got to her feet. When she caught a good look at
Gideon, she visibly preened, showing off an
admittedly pretty body.
Her efforts earned her a glance so disdainfully
dismissive and unimpressed that she finally had
the grace to blush and cover herself with a slinky
gold lamé dress she picked up off the floor. And
because I was in a mood, I said, “Don’t take it
personally. He prefers brunettes.”
The look Gideon shot me was lethal. I’d never
seen him look so livid. He was literally vibrating
with suppressed violence.
Frightened by that glare, I took an involuntary
step back. He cursed viciously and shoved both of
his hands through his hair.
Suddenly bone weary and desperately
disappointed with the men in my life, I turned
away. “Get this mess out of my house, Cary.”
I headed down the hallway, kicking off my other
heel en route. I was out of my dress before I
reached my bathroom and in the shower less than
a minute beyond that. I stayed out of the range of
the spray until the water warmed, and then I stood
directly beneath it. Too tired to stand for long, I
sank to the floor and just sat beneath the stream
with my eyes closed and my arms wrapped
around my knees.
“Eva.”
I cringed when I heard Gideon’s voice, and
tucked into an even tighter ball.
“Goddamn it,” he snapped. “You piss me off
worse than anyone else I know.”
I looked at him through the veil of my wet hair.
He was pacing the length of my bathroom, his
jacket shed somewhere and his shirt untucked.
“Go home, Gideon.”
He halted and shot me an incredulous look. “I’m
not fucking leaving you here. Cary’s lost his
damned mind! That amped-up asshole was
seconds away from putting his hands on you when
I got here.”
“Cary wouldn’t have let that happen. But either
way, I can’t deal with him and you at the same
time.” I didn’t want to deal with either of them,
actually. I just wanted to be alone.
“Then you’ll just deal with me.”
I scooped my hair back from my face with an
impatient swipe of my hand. “Oh? I’m supposed to
make you the priority?”
He recoiled as if I’d hit him. “I was under the
impression we were both each other’s priorities.”
“Yeah, I thought that, too. Until tonight.”
“Jesus. Will you drop it with Corinne already?”
He spread his arms wide. “I’m here with you,
aren’t I? I barely said good-bye to her because I
was chasing after you. Again.”
“Fuck you. Don’t do me any favors.”
Gideon lunged into the shower fully dressed. He
yanked me to my feet and kissed me. Hard. His
mouth devoured mine, his hands gripping my
upper arms to hold me in place.
But I didn’t soften this time. I didn’t give in. Even
when he tried coaxing me with lush, suggestive
licks.
“Why?” he muttered, his lips sliding down to my
throat. “Why are you driving me insane?”
“I don’t know what your problem is with Dr.
Lucas, and I honestly don’t give a shit. But he was
right. Corinne got way too much of your attention
tonight. You pretty much ignored me during
dinner.”
“It’s impossible for me to ignore you, Eva.” His
face was hard and tight. “If you’re in the same
room with me, I don’t see anyone else.”
“Funny. Every time I looked at you, you were
looking at her.”
“This is stupid.” He released me and shoved
the wet hair out of his face. “You know how I feel
about you.”
“Do I? You want me. You need me. But do you
love Corinne?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. No.” He shut the water off,
caging me to the glass with both arms. “You want
me to tell you I love you, Eva? Is that what this is
about?”
My stomach cramped as if he’d struck me with
the full force of his fist. I’d never felt that kind of
pain before, hadn’t known it existed. My eyes
burned and I ducked under his arm before I
embarrassed myself by crying. “Go home,
Gideon. Please.”
“I am home.” He caught me from behind and
buried his face in my soaked hair. “I’m with you.”
I struggled to get free, but I was too wiped out.
Physically. Emotionally. The tears came in a
torrent and I couldn’t stop them. And I hated crying
in front of anyone. “Go away. Please.”
“I love you, Eva. Of course I do.”
“Oh my God.” I kicked at him, flailing. Anything
to get away from the person who’d become a
massive source of pain and misery. “I don’t want
your fucking pity. I just want you to go away.”
“I can’t. You know I can’t. Eva, stop fighting.
Listen to me.”
“Everything you’re saying hurts, Gideon.”
“It’s not the right word, Eva,” he pressed on
stubbornly, his lips at my ear. “That’s why I haven’t
said it. It’s not the right word for you and what I feel
for you.”
“Shut up. If you care about me at all, you’ll just
shut up and go away.”
“I’ve been loved before—by Corinne, by other
women…But what the hell do they know about
me? What the hell are they in love with when they
don’t know how fucked up I am? If that’s love, it’s
nothing compared to what I feel for you.”
I stilled, trembling, my gaze on the mirror’s
reflection of my mascara-smeared face and
bedraggled wet hair next to Gideon’s ravaged
beauty. His features were overcome by volatile
emotion as he wrapped himself tightly around me.
We looked all wrong for each other.
And yet I understood the alienation of being
around others who couldn’t really see you or
chose not to. I’d felt the self-loathing that came
with being a fraud, portraying an image of what
you wished you could be but weren’t. I’d lived with
the fear that the people you loved might turn away
from you if they ever got to know the true person
hidden inside.
“Gideon—”
His lips touched my temple. “I think I loved you
the moment I saw you. Then we made love that
first time in the limo and it became something
else. Something more.”
“Whatever. You cut me off that night and left me
behind to take care of Corinne. How could you,
Gideon?”
He released me only long enough to scoop me
up and carry me over to where my bathrobe hung
from a hook on the back of the door. He bundled
me up; then had me sit on the edge of the tub
while he went to the sink and pulled my makeup
removal wipes out of the drawer. Crouching in
front of me, he stroked the cloth over my cheek.
“When Corinne called during the advocacy
dinner, it was the perfect time to make me do
something stupid.” His gaze was soft and warm
on my tear-streaked face. “You and I had just
made love, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I told her I
was busy and that I was with someone, and when I
heard the pain in her voice, I knew I had to deal
with her so I could move forward with you.”
“I don’t understand. You left me behind for her.
How does that move us forward?”
“I screwed up with Corinne, Eva.” He tilted my
chin back to rub at my raccoon eyes. “I met her my
first year at Columbia. I noticed her, of course.
She’s beautiful and sweet, and never had an
unkind word to say about anyone. When she
pursued me, I let myself be caught and she
became my first consensual sexual experience.”
“I hate her.”
That made his mouth curve slightly.
“I’m not kidding, Gideon. I’m sick with jealousy
right now.”
“It was just sex with her, angel. As raw as you
and I fuck, it’s still making love. Every time, from
the very first time. You’re the only one who’s ever
gotten to me that way.”
I heaved out a breath. “Okay. I’m marginally
better.”
He kissed me. “I guess you could say we dated.
We were exclusive sexually and we often ended
up going to the same places as a couple. Still,
when she told me she loved me, I was surprised.
And flattered. I cared about her. I enjoyed
spending time with her.”
“Still do, apparently,” I muttered.
“Keep listening.” He chastised me with a tap of
his finger to the end of my nose. “I thought maybe I
might love her, too, in my own way…the only way I
knew how. I didn’t want her to be with anyone else.
So I said yes when she proposed.”
I jerked back to look at him. “She proposed?”
“Don’t look so shocked,” he said wryly. “You’re
bruising my ego.”
Relief flooded me in a rush that made me dizzy.
I threw myself at him, hugging him as tight as I
could.
“Hey.” His returning embrace was just as fierce.
“You okay?”
“Yes. Yes, I’m getting there.” I pulled back and
cupped his jaw in my hand. “Keep going.”
“I said yes for all the wrong reasons. After two
years of hanging out, we’d never spent a full night
together. Never talked about any of the things I
talk to you about. She didn’t know me, not really,
and yet I convinced myself that being loved at all
was something to hang on to. Who else was
going to do it right, if not her?”
He moved his attention to my other eye,
cleaning away the black streaks. “I think she was
hoping that being engaged would take us to a
different level. Maybe I’d open up more. Maybe
we’d stay the night at the hotel—which she thought
was romantic, by the way—instead of calling it an
early night because of classes in the morning. I
don’t know.”
I thought it sounded terribly lonely. My poor
Gideon. He’d been alone for so long. Maybe his
whole life.
“And maybe when she broke it off after a year,”
he went on, “she was hoping that would kick-start
things, too. That I’d make a bigger effort to keep
her. Instead, I was relieved because I’d started to
realize it was going to be impossible to share a
home with her. What excuse was I going to come
up with to sleep in separate rooms and have my
own space?”
“You never considered telling her?”
“No.” He shrugged. “Until you, I didn’t consider
my past an issue. Yes, it affected certain ways I
did things, but everything had its place and I
wasn’t unhappy. In fact, I thought I had a
comfortable and uncomplicated life.”
“Oh, boy.” My nose wrinkled. “Hello, Mr.
Comfortable. I’m Miss Complicated.”
His grin flashed. “Never a dull moment.”

Categories: Bared to You

Bared to You - Chapter 20

Gideon arrived just as dinner was coming out of
the oven. He had a garment bag in one hand and
a laptop case in the other. I’d worried that he
would try to go home alone after his session with
Dr. Petersen and was relieved when he’d called
to say he was on his way. Still, when I first opened
the door and saw him on the threshold, a shiver of
unease slid through me.
“Hey,” he said quietly, following me back into
the kitchen. “Smells delicious in here.”
“I hope you’re hungry. There’s a lot of food and
I’ll be surprised if Cary joins us to help eat it all.”
Gideon dropped his stuff on the breakfast bar
and approached me cautiously, his gaze
searching my face as he neared. “I brought some
things with me to stay the night, but I’ll go if you
want. At any time. Just tell me.”
I blew out my breath in a harsh rush, determined
not to let fear dictate my actions. “I want you here.”
“I want to be here.” He paused beside me. “Can
I hold you?”
I turned into him and squeezed him hard.
“Please.”
He pressed his cheek against mine and
hugged me close. The embrace wasn’t as natural
and easy as we’d grown used to. There was a
new wariness between us that was different from
anything we’d felt before.
“How are you doing?” he murmured.
“Better now that you’re here.”
“But still nervous.” He pressed his lips to my
forehead. “Me, too. I don’t know how we’re ever
going to fall asleep next to each other again.”
Pulling back slightly, I looked at him. That was
my fear as well, and my earlier conversation with
Cary didn’t help matters. He’s a ticking time
bomb…
“We’ll figure it out,” I said.
He was quiet for a long moment. “Has Nathan
ever contacted you?”
“No.” Although I had a deep-rooted fear that I
might see him again one day, whether
accidentally or deliberately. He was out there
somewhere, breathing the same air…“Why?”
“It was on my mind today.”
I pulled back to search his face, a knot forming
in my throat at how tormented he looked. “Why?”
“Because we’ve got a lot of baggage between
us.”
“Are you thinking it’s too much?”
Gideon shook his head. “I can’t think that way.”
I didn’t know what to do or say. What
assurances could I give him, when I wasn’t sure
my love and his need would be enough to make
our relationship work?
“What’s going through your mind?” he asked.
“Thoughts of food. I’m starving. Why don’t you
go see if Cary wants to eat? Then we can get
started on dinner.”
Gideon found Cary sleeping, so he and I ate a
candlelit dinner for two at the dining table, a
somewhat formal meal while lounging in the worn
T-shirts and pajama bottoms we’d put on after our
respective showers. I was worried about Cary, but
spending quiet downtime alone with Gideon felt
like just what we needed.
“I had lunch with Magdalene in my office
yesterday,” he said after we’d enjoyed a few initial
bites.
“Oh?” While I’d been ring shopping, Magdalene
had been enjoying private time with my man?
“Don’t take that tone,” he admonished. “She ate
a meal in an office covered in your flowers, with
you blowing kisses from my desk. You were as
much there as she was.”
“Sorry. Knee-jerk reaction.”
He lifted my hand to his mouth and pressed a
quick, hard kiss to the back. “I’m relieved you can
still get jealous over me.”
I sighed. My emotions had been all over the
map all day; I couldn’t decide how I felt about
anything. “Did you say anything to her about
Christopher?”
“That was the point of the lunch. I showed her
the video.”
“What?” I frowned, remembering my phone had
died in his car. “How’d you do that?”
“I took your phone up to my office and pulled the
video off via USB. Didn’t you notice I brought it
back last night, fully charged?”
“No.” I set my silverware down. Dominant or not,
Gideon and I were going to have to work on which
lines crossed over into my freak-out zone. “You
can’t just hack into my phone, Gideon.”
“I didn’t hack into it. You haven’t set a password
yet.”
“That’s not the point! It’s a serious invasion of
my fucking privacy. Jesus…” Why in hell did no
one in my life understand that I had boundaries?
“Would you like me rummaging through your
stuff?”
“I’ve got nothing to hide.” He pulled his
smartphone out of an inner pocket of his sweats
and held it out to me. “And you won’t either.”
I didn’t want to get into a fight now, things were
too shaky as it was, but I’d let this go long enough.
“It doesn’t matter whether or not I have something I
don’t want you to see. I have a right to space and
privacy, and you need to ask before you help
yourself to my information and my belongings. You
have to stop taking whatever you want without my
permission.”
“What was private about it?’ he asked with a
frown. “You showed it to me yourself.”
“Don’t be like my mother, Gideon!” I shouted.
“There’s only so much crazy I can handle.”
He jerked back at my vehemence, clearly
surprised by how upset I was. “Okay. I’m sorry.”
I gulped down my wine, trying to rein in my
temper and unease. “Sorry I’m mad? Or sorry you
did it?”
After the length of several heartbeats, Gideon
said, “I’m sorry you’re mad.”
He really didn’t get it. “Why don’t you see how
weird this is?”
“Eva.” He sighed and shoved a hand through
his hair. “I spend a quarter of every day inside
you. When you set limits outside of that I can’t help
but see them as arbitrary.”
“Well, they’re not. They’re important to me. If
there’s something you want to know, you need to
ask me.”
“All right.”
“Don’t do it anymore,” I warned. “I’m not kidding,
Gideon.”
His jaw tightened. “Okay. I get it.”
Then, because I really didn’t want to fight, I
moved on. “What did she say when she saw it?”
He visibly relaxed. “It was difficult, of course.
Even more difficult to know I’d seen it.”
“She saw us in the library.”
“We didn’t talk about that directly, but then, what
was there to say? I won’t apologize for making
love to my girlfriend in a closed room.” He leaned
back in his chair and exhaled harshly. “Seeing
Christopher’s face on the video—seeing what he
really thought of her—that hurt her. It’s hard to see
yourself being used that way. Especially by
someone you think you know, someone who’s
supposed to care about you.”
To hide my reaction, I busied myself with
refilling both my glass and his. He spoke as if
from experience. What exactly had been done to
him?
After a quick gulp of wine, I asked, “How are
you doing with it?”
“What can I do? Over the years, I’ve made every
attempt to talk to Christopher. I’ve tried throwing
money at him. I’ve tried threatening him. He’s
never shown any inclination to change. I realized
long ago that I can only do damage control. And
keep you as far away from him as possible.”
“I’ll be helping you with that, now that I know.”
“Good.” He took a drink, eyeing me over the lip
of his glass. “You’re not asking me about my
appointment with Dr. Petersen.”
“It’s none of my business. Unless you want to
share.” I met his gaze, willing him to do just that.
“I’m here to listen whenever you need an ear, but
I’m not going to pry. When you’re ready to let me
in, you will. That said, I’d love to know if you like
him.”
“So far.” He smiled. “He talks me around in
circles. Not many people can do that.”
“Yes. Talks you back around and makes you
come at it from a different angle that has you
thinking, ‘Now why didn’t I see it like that?’”
Gideon’s fingers stroked up and down the stem
of his glass. “He prescribed something for me to
take at night before bed. I filled it before I came
over.”
“How do you feel about taking drugs?”
He looked at me with dark, haunted eyes. “I feel
it’s necessary. I have to be with you and I have to
make that safe for you, whatever it takes. Dr.
Petersen says the drug combined with therapy
has been successful for other ‘atypical sexual
parasomniacs.’ I have to believe that.”
I reached over to squeeze his hand. Taking
medication was a big step, especially for
someone who’d avoided facing his problems for a
long time. “Thank you.”
Gideon’s grip tightened. “Apparently there are
enough people with this problem that there have
been sleep studies on it. He told me about a
documented case where a man sexually
assaulted his wife in his sleep for twelve years
before they sought help.”
“Twelve years? Jesus.”
“Apparently part of the reason they waited so
long was because the man was a better lay when
he was asleep,” he said dryly. “And if that’s not a
killer blow to the ego, I don’t know what is.”
I stared at him. “Well, shit.”
“I know, right?” His wry smile faded. “But I don’t
want you to feel pressured to share a bed with
me, Eva. There is no magic pill. I can sleep on the
couch or I can go home, although of the two
choices I’d prefer the couch. My whole day is
better after getting ready for work with you.”
“For me, too.”
Reaching over, Gideon caught my hand and
lifted it to his lips. “I never imagined I could have
this…Someone in my life who knows what you do
about me. Someone who could talk about my
fuck-ups over dinner because they accept me
anyway…I’m grateful for you, Eva.”
My heart twisted with a sweet pain in my chest.
He could say such beautiful things, the perfect
things.
“I feel the same way about you, ace.” Deeper,
maybe, because I loved him. But I didn’t say that
aloud. He’d get there someday. I wasn’t going to
give up until he was absolutely, irrevocably mine.
With his bare feet propped on the coffee table
and his computer on his lap, Gideon looked so at
home and relaxed that he kept distracting me
from my television shows.
How did we get here? I asked myself. This
extravagantly sexy man and me?
“You’re staring,” he murmured, his gaze on his
laptop screen.
I stuck my tongue out at him.
“Is that a sexual suggestion, Miss Tramell?”
“How do you see me while staring at whatever
you’re working on?”
He looked up then and caught my gaze. His
blue eyes blazed with power and heat. “I’ve
always seen you, angel. From the moment you
found me, I’ve seen nothing but you.”
Wednesday started with Gideon’s cock pushing
into me from behind, my new favorite way to wake
up.
“Well, then,” I said hoarsely, rubbing the sleep
from my eyes as his arm hitched around my waist
and hauled me closer to his warm, hard chest.
“You’re frisky this morning.”
“You’re gorgeous and sexy every morning,” he
murmured, nibbling on my shoulder. “I love waking
up to you.”
We celebrated a night of uninterrupted sleep
with a handful of orgasms between us.
Much later in the day, I had lunch with Mark and
his partner Steven at a lovely Mexican restaurant
tucked beneath the street. We descended a short
set of cement stairs into a surprisingly spacious
restaurant with black-vested waitstaff and plenty of
light.
“You’ll need to bring your man back here,”
Steven said, “and have him buy you one of the
pomegranate margaritas.”
“Good stuff?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah.”
When the waitress came to take our orders,
she flirted outrageously with Mark, fluttering
enviously long lashes. Mark flirted back. As the
meal progressed, the exuberant redhead—whose
name tag introduced her as Shawna—became
bolder, touching Mark’s shoulders and the back of
his neck every time she came by. In return, Mark’s
banter became more suggestive, until I eyed
Steven nervously, watching his face redden and
his scowl deepen by the moment. Shifting
uncomfortably, I was counting down the minutes
until the tension-fraught meal was over.
“Let’s get together tonight,” Shawna said to
Mark when she brought the check. “One night with
me and I’ll cure you.”
I gaped. Seriously?
“Seven o’clock work for you?” Mark purred. “I’ll
ruin you, Shawna. You know what happens once
you go black…”
I inhaled my water down the wrong pipe and
choked.
Steven leaped to his feet and rounded the
table, pounding me on the back. “Hell, Eva,” he
said, laughing. “We’re just playing with you. Don’t
die on us.”
“What?” I gasped, my eyes watering.
Grinning, he came around my shoulder and
tossed his arm around the waitress. “Eva, meet
my sister, Shawna. Shawna, Eva here is the one
who makes Mark’s life easier.”
“That’s good,” Shawna said, “since he’s got you
to make things harder.”
Steven winked at me. “That’s why he keeps me
around.”
Seeing the brother and sister pair so close
together, I finally caught the resemblance I’d
missed before. I sagged into my seat and
narrowed my eyes at Mark. “That was rotten. I
thought Steven was going to blow a gasket.”
Mark held up his hands in a show of surrender.
“It was all his idea. He’s the drama queen,
remember?”
Rocking back on his heels, Steven grinned and
said, “Now, Eva. You know Mark’s the idea man in
this relationship.”
Shawna dug a business card out of her pocket
and handed it to me. “My number’s on the flipside.
Gimme a call. I’ve got the inside dirt on these two.
You can pay ’em back really good.”
“Traitor!” Steven accused.
“Hey.” Shawna shrugged. “Us girls have to stick
together.”
After work, Gideon and I went to his gym. Angus
dropped us off at the curb and we headed inside.
The place was hopping and the locker room
crowded. I changed and stowed my stuff; then met
Gideon in the hallway.
I waved at Daniel, the trainer who’d talked to
me on my first visit to CrossTrainer, and got a
smack on the ass for it.
“Hey,” I protested, swatting at Gideon’s
chastising hand. “Cut it out.”
He tugged my ponytail and gently urged my
head back, tilting my mouth up so he could mark
his territory with a deep, lush kiss.
The way he pulled my hair sent electricity
sweeping across my skin. “If this is your idea of a
deterrent,” I whispered against his lips, “I have to
say it’s much more of an incentive.”
“I’m quite willing to take it up a notch.” He
nipped my lower lip with his teeth. “But I wouldn’t
suggest testing my limits that way, Eva.”
“Don’t worry. I have other ways to do it.”
Gideon hit the treadmill first, affording me the
pleasure of seeing his body glistening with
sweat…in public. As often as I saw him that way in
private, it never ceased to be a major turn-on.
And God, I loved the way he looked with his hair
tied back. And the flex of his muscles beneath
lightly tanned skin. And the graceful power of his
movements. Seeing such an elegantly urbane
man shed the suits and show off his animal side
hit all my hot buttons.
I couldn’t stop staring and was happy I didn’t
have to. He was mine, after all; a fact that sent
warm pleasure sliding through me. Besides, every
other woman in the gym was checking him out,
too. As he moved from station to station, dozens
of admiring eyes followed.
When he caught me ogling, I shot him a
suggestive glance and ran my tongue along my
lower lip. His arched brow and rueful half-smile
made me tingly. I couldn’t remember the last time
I’d been so motivated while working out. An hour
and a half just flew by.
By the time we got back in the Bentley and
headed to the penthouse, I was squirming in my
seat. My gaze slid repeatedly to Gideon in silent
invitation.
He linked his fingers with mine. “You’ll wait for
it.”
That pronouncement startled me. “What?”
“You heard me.” He kissed my fingers and had
the nerve to give me a wicked smile. “Delayed
gratification, angel.”
“Why would we do that?”
“Think of how crazed we’ll be for each other
after dinner.”
I leaned closer so Angus didn’t overhear me,
although I knew he was professional enough to
ignore us. “That’s a given, waiting or not. I say we
go with not.”
But he wouldn’t budge. Instead, he tortured us
both. Having us undress one another for a steamy
shower, our hands petting and caressing the
curves and hollows of each other’s bodies; then
dressing for dinner. He went all out in black tie, but
skipped the tie. His crisp white shirt was
unbuttoned at the collar, revealing a flash of skin.
The cocktail dress he selected for me was a
champagne silk Vera Wang with a strapless
bustier bodice, an open back, and a tiered skirt
that ended a few inches above my knees.
I smiled when I saw it, knowing it was going to
drive him nuts seeing me in that dress all night. It
was gorgeous and I loved it, but it was a style
meant for tall, slender models, not short curvy
girls. In a pitiful bid for modesty, I left my hair down
to hang over my breasts, but it didn’t help much if
Gideon’s expression was any indication.
“My God, Eva.” He adjusted himself in his
slacks. “I’ve changed my mind about that dress.
You shouldn’t wear it in public.”
“We don’t have time for you to change your
mind.”
“I thought there was more material than that.”
I shrugged with a grin. “What can I say? You
bought it.”
“I’m having second thoughts. How long could it
possibly take to remove it?”
Sliding my tongue along my lower lip, I said, “I
don’t know. Why don’t you find out?”
His eyes turned dark. “We’d never get out of
here.”
“I wouldn’t complain.” He looked so damn hot
and I wanted him—as always—really damned
bad.
“Isn’t there a jacket or something you can put
over that? A parka, maybe? Or a trench coat?”
Laughing, I grabbed my clutch off the dresser
and wrapped my arm around his. “Don’t worry.
Everyone will be too busy checking you out to
even bother noticing me.”
He scowled as I tugged him out of the bedroom.
“Seriously. Have your tits gotten bigger? They’re
spilling out over the top of that thing.”
“I’m twenty-four years old, Gideon,” I said dryly.
“I stopped developing years ago. What you see is
what you get.”
“Yes, but I’m the only one who’s supposed to be
seeing, since I’m the only one who’s allowed to be
getting.”
We moved into the living room. In the short time
it took us to pass through to the foyer, I relished
the quiet beauty of Gideon’s home. I loved how
warm and inviting it was. The old world charm of
the décor was so elegant, yet it was also
remarkably comfortable. The stunning view out of
the arched windows complemented the interior,
but didn’t distract from it.
The mixture of dark woods, distressed stone,
warm colors, and vivid jeweled accents was
clearly expensive, as was the art hung on the
walls, but it was a tasteful display of wealth. I
couldn’t imagine anyone feeling awkward about
what to touch or where to sit. It just wasn’t that kind
of space.
We caught the private elevator and Gideon
faced me as the doors closed. He immediately
tried tugging my bodice up.
“If you’re not careful,” I warned, “you’ll expose
my crotch instead.”
“Damn it.”
“We could have fun with this. I could play the
role of a bubbleheaded blond bimbo who’s after
your cock and your millions, and you can be
yourself—the billionaire playboy with his latest toy.
Just look bored and indulgent while I rub up
against you and coo about how brilliant you are.”
“That’s not funny.” Then he brightened. “What
about a scarf?”
Once we checked in for the gala dinner benefitting
a new crisis shelter for women and children, we
were directed to a press gauntlet, triggering my
fear of exposure. I focused on Gideon because
nothing distracted me as thoroughly as he did.
And because I was paying such close attention, I
was able to watch the change from private man to
public persona as it happened.
The mask slipped smoothly into place. His
irises chilled to an icy blue and his sensual mouth
lost any hint of curve. I could almost feel the force
of his will enclosing us. There was a shield
between us and the rest of the world simply
because he wished it to be there. Standing
beside him, I knew no one would approach or
speak to me until he gave them some sign that
they could.
Still, the don’t-touch vibe didn’t extend to
looking. Gideon turned heads as we walked to the
ballroom and eyes followed him. I got a nervous
twitch from all the attention he garnered, but he
seemed oblivious and completely unruffled.
If I’d had my heart set on cooing and rubbing all
over Gideon, I would’ve had to wait in line. He was
pretty much mobbed the moment we stopped
walking. I stepped away to make room for those
vying to catch his attention and wandered off to
find some champagne. Waters Field & Leaman
had done the pro bono advertising for the gala,
and I spotted a few people I knew.
I’d managed to snag a glass off a passing
waiter’s tray when I heard someone call out my
name. Turning, I saw Stanton’s nephew
approaching with a broad smile. Dark-haired and
green-eyed, he was around my age. I knew him
from the times I’d visited my mother on holiday
breaks and was glad to see him.
“Martin!” I greeted him with open arms and we
hugged briefly. “How are you? You look fabulous.”
“I was about to say the same.” He eyed my
dress appreciatively. “I’d heard you’d moved to
New York and meant to look you up. How long
have you been in town?”
“Not long. A few weeks.”
“Drink your champagne,” he said. “And let’s
dance.”
The wine was still bubbling nicely through my
system when we moved onto the dance floor to
the sound of Billie Holliday singing “Summertime.”
“So,” he began, “are you working?”
As we danced, I told him about my job and I
asked what he was up to. I wasn’t surprised to
hear he was working for Stanton’s investment firm
and doing well.
“I’d love to come uptown and take you out to
lunch sometime,” he said.
“That would be great.” I stepped back as the
music ended and bumped into someone behind
me. Hands went to my waist to steady me and I
looked over my shoulder to find Gideon at my
back.
“Hello,” he purred, his icy gaze on Martin.
“Introduce us.”
“Gideon, this is Martin Stanton. We’ve known
each other for a few years now. He’s my
stepfather’s nephew.” I took a deep breath and
went for it. “Martin, this is the significant man in my
life, Gideon Cross.”
“Cross.” Martin grinned and held out his hand. “I
know who you are, of course. It’s a pleasure to
meet you. If things work out, maybe I’ll be seeing
you at some of the family gatherings.”
Gideon’s arm slid around my shoulders. “Count
on it.”
Martin was hailed by someone he knew and he
leaned forward to kiss my cheek. “I’ll call you
about lunch. Next week maybe?”
“Great.” I was highly conscious of Gideon
vibrating with energy beside me, although when I
glanced at him, his face with calm and impassive.
He pulled me into a dance, with Louis
Armstrong singing “What a Wonderful World.”
“Not sure I like him,” he muttered.
“Martin’s a very nice guy.”
“Just so long as he knows you’re mine.” He
pressed his cheek to my temple and placed his
hand within the cutout back of my dress, skin to
skin. There was no way to doubt that I belonged to
him when he was holding me like that.
I relished the opportunity to be so close to his
scrumptious body in public. Breathing him in, I
relaxed into his expert hold. “I like this.”
Nuzzling against me, he murmured, “That’s the
idea.”
Bliss. It lasted as long as the dance did.
We were exiting the dance floor when I caught
sight of Magdalene off to the side. It took me a
moment to recognize her because she’d cut her
hair into a sleek bob. She looked slender and
classy in a simple black cocktail dress, but was
eclipsed by the striking brunette she was
speaking to.
Gideon’s stride faltered, slowing fractionally
before resuming his usual pace. I was looking
down, thinking he’d avoided something on the
floor, when he said quietly, “I need to introduce
you to someone.”
My attention shifted to see where we were
going. The woman with Magdalene had spotted
Gideon and turned to face him. I felt his forearm
tense beneath my fingers the moment their gazes
met.
I could see why.
The woman, whoever she was, was deeply in
love with Gideon. It was there on her face and in
her pale, otherworldly blue eyes. Her beauty was
stunning, so exquisite as to be surreal. Her hair
was black as ink and hung thick and straight
almost to her waist. Her dress was the same icy
hue as her eyes, her skin golden from the sun, her
body long and perfectly curved.
“Corinne,” he greeted her, the natural rasp in his
voice even more pronounced. He released me
and caught her hands. “You didn’t tell me you were
back. I would’ve picked you up.”
“I left a few messages on your voice mail at
home,” she said, in a voice that was cultured and
smooth.
“Ah, I haven’t been there much lately.” As if that
reminded him I was next to him, he released her
and drew me up to his side. “Corinne, this is Eva
Tramell. Eva, Corinne Giroux. An old friend.”
I extended my hand to her and she shook it.
“Any friend of Gideon’s is a friend of mine,” she
said with a warm smile.
“I hope that applies to girlfriends as well.”
When her gaze met mine, it was knowing.
“Especially girlfriends. If you could spare him a
moment, I’ve been hoping to introduce him to an
associate of mine.”
“Of course.” My voice was calm; I was anything
but. Gideon gave me a perfunctory kiss on the
temple before he stepped closer to Corinne and
offered his arm to her, leaving Magdalene
standing awkwardly next to me.
I actually felt sorry for her, she looked so
dejected. “Your new hairstyle is very flattering,
Magdalene.”
She glanced at me, her mouth tight, and then it
softened with a sigh that sounded filled with
resignation. “Thank you. It was time for a change.
Time for many changes, I think. Also, there was no
reason to imitate the one who got away now that
she’s back.”
I frowned in confusion. “You lost me.”
“I’m talking about Corinne.” She studied my
face. “You don’t know. She and Gideon were
engaged, for over a year. She broke it off, married
a wealthy Frenchman, and moved to Europe. But
the marriage fell apart. They’re now getting
divorced and she’s moved back to New York.”
Engaged. I felt the blood drain from my face, my
gaze shifting to where the man I loved stood with
the woman he must’ve once loved, his hand
moving to the small of her back to steady her as
she leaned into him with a laugh.
As my stomach twisted with jealousy and sick
fear, it struck me that I’d assumed he had never
had a serious romantic relationship before me.
Stupid. As hot as he was, I should’ve known
better.
Magdalene touched my shoulder. “You should
sit down, Eva. You’re very pale.”
I knew I was breathing too fast and my
speeding pulse rate was dangerously high.
“You’re right.”
Moving to the nearest available chair, I got off
my feet. Magdalene sat beside me.
“You love him,” she said. “I didn’t see it. I’m
sorry. And I’m sorry for what I said to you the first
time we met.”
“You love him, too,” I replied woodenly, my gaze
unfocused. “And at that time, I didn’t. Not yet.”
“Doesn’t excuse me, does it?”
I gratefully accepted another glass of
champagne when it was offered to me and took a
second for Magdalene before the waiter
straightened to move on. We clinked glasses in a
pitiful display of scorned female solidarity. I
wanted to leave. I wanted to get up and walk out. I
wanted Gideon to realize I’d left, to be forced to
leave after me. I wanted him to feel some of the
pain I felt. Stupid, immature, hurtful imaginings that
made me feel small.
I took comfort from Magdalene sitting silently
beside me in commiseration. She knew how it felt
to love Gideon and want him too much. That I
sensed she was as miserable as I was confirmed
what a threat Corinne might be.
Had he been pining for her this whole time?
Was she the reason he’d closed himself off from
other women?
“There you are.”
I looked up as Gideon found me. Of course
Corinne was still on his arm and I got the full effect
of the two of them as a couple. There were, quite
simply, impossibly gorgeous together.
Corinne took a seat beside me and Gideon
brushed his fingertips over my cheek. “I have to
speak with someone,” he said. “Would you like
me to bring you back anything?”
“Stoli and cranberry. Make it a double.” I
needed a buzz. Bad.
“All right.” But he frowned at my request before
he walked away.
“I’m so glad to meet you, Eva,” Corinne said.
“Gideon has told me so much about you.”
“It can’t have been too much. You two weren’t
gone that long.”
“We talk nearly every day.” She smiled, and
there was nothing fake or malicious in her
expression. “We’ve been friends a long time.”
“More than friends,” Magdalene said pointedly.
Corinne frowned at Magdalene and I realized I
wasn’t supposed to know. Was it she or Gideon
or both of them that had decided it was best not to
tell me? Why cover up something if there was
nothing to hide?
“Yes, that’s true,” she admitted with obvious
reluctance. “Although that was some years ago
now.”
I twisted in my seat to face her. “You still love
him.”
“You can’t blame me for that. Any woman who
spends time with him falls in love with him. He’s
beautiful and untouchable. That’s an irresistible
combination.” Her smile softened. “He tells me
you’ve inspired him to start opening up. I’m
grateful to you for that.”
I was about to say, I didn’t do it for you. Then an
insidious doubt drifted through my mind, making a
vulnerable spot inside me fold in on itself.
Was I doing it for her without knowing it?
I twisted the base of my empty champagne flute
around and around on the table. “He was going to
marry you.”
“And it was the biggest mistake of my life
walking away.” Her hand went to her throat, her
slender fingers restlessly stroking, as if toying with
a necklace she’d normally find there. “I was young
and in some ways he frightened me. He was so
possessive. It wasn’t until after I married that I
realized possessiveness is much better than
indifference. At least for me.”
I looked away, fighting the nausea that rose in
my throat.
“You’re awfully quiet,” she said.
“What is there to say?” Magdalene tossed out.
We all loved him. We were all available to him.
In the end, he would make a choice between us.
“You should know, Eva,” Corinne began,
looking at me with those clear aquamarine eyes,
“he’s told me how special you are to him. It took
me some time to gather the courage to come
back here and face you two together. I even
canceled a flight I had booked a couple weekends
ago. I interrupted him at some charity event he
was giving a speech at, poor guy, to tell him I was
on my way and to ask for his help getting settled.”
I froze, feeling as brittle as cracked glass. She
had to be talking about the advocacy center
dinner, the night Gideon and I had sex for the first
time. The night we’d christened his limo and he’d
immediately withdrawn; then left me abruptly.
“When he called me back,” she continued, “he
told me he’d met someone. That he wanted you
and me to meet when I got into town. I ended up
chickening out. He’s never asked me to meet a
woman in his life before.”
Oh my God. I glanced at Magdalene. Gideon
had left me in a rush that night for her. For
Corinne.

Categories: Bared to You

Bared to You - Chapter 19

Cary joined us in the living room for excellent
Chinese, a sweet plum wine, and Monday night
television. As we flipped channels and laughed
over the hilarious names of some reality television
shows, I watched as two of the most important
men in my life enjoyed some relaxation time and
each other. They got along well, ribbing and
playfully insulting each other in that way men had.
I’d never seen that side of Gideon before and I
loved it.
While I hogged one whole side of our sectional
sofa, the two guys sat cross-legged on the floor
and used the coffee table as a dining table. Both
were wearing loose sweatpants and fitted Tshirts,
and I appreciated the view. Was I a lucky
girl or what?
Cracking his knuckles, Cary dramatically
prepared to open his fortune cookie. “Let’s see.
Will I be rich? Famous? About to meet Mr. or Ms.
Tall, Dark, and Tasty? Traveling to distant lands?
What’d you guys get?”
“Mine’s lame,” I said. “In the end all things will
be known. Duh. I didn’t need a fortune to figure
that out.”
Gideon opened his and read, “Prosperity will
knock on your door soon.”
I snorted.
Cary shot me a look. “I know, right? You
snatched someone else’s cookie, Cross.”
“He better not be anywhere near someone
else’s cookie,” I said dryly.
Reaching over, Gideon plucked half of mine out
of my fingers. “Don’t worry, angel. Your cookie is
the only one I want.” He popped it in his mouth
with a wink.
“Gag,” Cary muttered. “Get a room.” He
cracked his fortune with a flourish, and then
scowled. “What the fuck?”
I leaned forward. “What’s it say?”
“Confucius say,” Gideon ad-libbed, “man with
hand in pocket feel cocky all day.”
Cary threw half his cookie at Gideon, who
caught it deftly and grinned.
“Give me that.” I snatched the fortune out from
between Cary’s fingers and read it. Then laughed.
“Fuck you, Eva.”
“Well?” Gideon prodded.
“Pick another cookie.”
Gideon smiled. “Pwned by a fortune.”
Cary threw the other half of his cookie.
I was reminded of similar evenings spent with
Cary when I was attending SDSU, which made
me try and picture what Gideon had been like in
college. From the articles I’d read, I knew he’d
attended Columbia for his undergraduate studies,
then left to focus on his expanding business
interests.
Had he associated with the other students? Did
he go to frat parties, screw around and/or drink
too much? He was such a controlled man, I had a
hard time picturing him that carefree, and yet here
he was being exactly that with me and Cary.
He glanced at me then, still smiling, and my
heart turned over in my chest. He looked his age
for once, young and seriously fine and so very
normal. At that moment, we were just a twentysomething
couple relaxing at home with a
roommate and a remote control. He was just my
boyfriend, hanging out. It was all so sweet and
uncomplicated, and I found the illusion a poignant
one.
The intercom buzzed and Cary leaped to his
feet to answer it. He glanced at me with a smile.
“Maybe it’s Trey.”
I held up a hand with my fingers crossed.
But when Cary answered the door a few
minutes later, it was the leggy blonde from the
other night who came in.
“Hey,” she said, taking in the remnants of dinner
on the table. She eyed Gideon appraisingly as he
politely unfolded and stood in that powerfully
graceful way of his. She shot me a smirk; then
unleashed a dazzling supermodel smile on
Gideon and held out her hand. “Tatiana Cherlin.”
He shook her hand. “Eva’s boyfriend.”
My brows lifted at his introduction. Was he
protecting his identity? Or his personal space?
Either way, I liked his response.
Cary came back into the room with a bottle of
wine and two glasses. “Come on,” he said,
gestured down the hallway to his bedroom.
Tatiana gave a little wave and preceded Cary
out. I mouthed behind her back to Cary, What are
you doing?
He winked and whispered, “Picking another
He winked and whispered, “Picking another
cookie.”
Gideon and I called it a night shortly after and
headed to my room. As we got ready for bed, I
asked him something I’d wondered about earlier.
“Did you have a fuck pad in college, too?”
His T-shirt cleared his head. “Excuse me?”
“You know, like the hotel room. You’re a randy
guy. I just wondered if you’d had some kind of
setup even then.”
He was shaking his head as I ogled his divinely
perfect torso and lean hips. “I’ve had as much sex
since I met you as I’ve had in the last two years
combined.”
“No way.”
“I work hard and I work out harder, both of which
keep me pleasantly exhausted most of the time.
Occasionally, I might’ve gotten an offer I didn’t
refuse, but otherwise I could take or leave sex until
I met you.”
“Bullshit.” I found that impossible to believe.
He shot me a look before he headed toward the
bathroom with a black leather toiletry bag. “Keep
doubting me, Eva. See what happens.”
“What?” I followed him, enjoying the sight of his
delectable ass. “You’re going to prove that you
can take or leave sex by doing me again?”
“It takes two.” He opened his bag and pulled out
a new toothbrush that he extricated from its
packaging and dropped into my toothbrush
holder. “You’ve initiated sex between us as much
as I have. You need the connection as much as I
do.”
“You’re right. It’s just…”
“Just what?” He pulled open a drawer, frowned
at finding it full, and moved on to pull open
another.
“Other sink,” I said, smiling at his presumption
that he would get drawers at my place, too, and
his scowl when he couldn’t find them. “They’re all
yours.”
Gideon moved over to the second sink and
began unpacking his bag into the drawers. “Just
what?” he repeated, taking shampoo and body
wash over to my shower.
Leaning my hip into the sink and crossing my
arms, I watched him stake his claim all over my
bathroom. There was no doubt that’s what he was
doing, just as there was no doubt that anyone
walking into the room would know right away there
was a man in my life.
It struck me then that I had a similar claim on his
private space. His household staff had to know
their boss was in a committed relationship now.
The thought gave me a little thrill.
“I was thinking about you in college earlier,” I
went on, “when we were eating dinner, imagining
what it would be like to see you around on
campus. I would’ve been obsessed with you. I
would have gone out of my way to see you around
just to enjoy the view. I would’ve tried to get in the
same classes as you, so I could daydream during
lectures about getting into your pants.”
“Sex maniac.” He kissed the tip of my nose as
he passed me and went to brush his teeth. “We
both know what would’ve happened once I saw
you.”
I brushed my hair and teeth; then washed my
face. “So…did you have a sex pad for the rare
occasions some lucky bitch got you in bed?”
His gaze caught my soapy reflection in the
mirror. “I’ve always used the hotel.”
“That’s the only place you’ve had sex? Before
me?”
“The only place I’ve had consensual sex,” he
said quietly, “before you.”
“Oh.” My heart broke.
I walked over to him, hugging him from behind. I
rubbed my cheek against his back.
We went to bed and wrapped ourselves around
each other. I buried my face in his neck and
breathed him in, snuggling. His body was hard,
yet it was wonderfully comfortable against mine.
He was so warm and strong, so powerfully male. I
only had to think of him to want him.
I slid my leg over his hips and rose above him,
my hands splayed atop the ridges of his
abdomen. It was dark, I couldn’t see him, but I
didn’t need to. As much as I loved that face of his
—the one he resented at times—it was the way
he touched me and murmured to me that really got
to me. As if there was no one else in the world for
him, nothing he wanted more.
“Gideon.” I didn’t need to say anything else.
Sitting up, he wrapped his arms around me and
kissed me deeply. Then he rolled me beneath him
and made love to me with a tender
possessiveness that rocked me to the soul.
I woke with a jolt of surprise. A heavy weight
crushed me and a harsh voice spit ugly, nasty
words into my ear. Panic gripped me, cutting off
my air.
Not again. No…Please, no…
My stepbrother’s hand covered my mouth and
he yanked my legs apart. I felt the hard thing
between his legs poking blindly, trying to push into
my body. My scream was muffled by his palm
smashed over my lips and I cringed away, my
heart pounding so hard I thought it would burst.
Nathan was so heavy. So heavy and strong. I
couldn’t buck him off. I couldn’t shove him away.
Stop it! Get off me. Don’t touch me. Oh, God…
please don’t do that to me…not again…
Where was Mama? Ma-ma!
I screamed, but Nathan’s hand covered my
mouth. It pressed down on me, squashing my
head into the pillow. The more I fought, the more
excited he became. Panting like a dog, he
rammed against me over and over…trying to
shove himself inside me…
“You’re going to know what it feels like.”
I froze. I knew that voice. I knew it wasn’t
Nathan’s.
Not a dream. Still a nightmare.
God, no. Blinking madly in the darkness, I
struggled to see. The blood was roaring through
my ears. I couldn’t hear.
But I knew the smell of his skin. Knew his touch,
even when it was cruel. Knew the feel of his body
on mine, even as it tried to invade me.
Gideon’s erection battered into the crease of
my thigh. Panicked, I heaved upward with all my
strength. His hand on my face dislodged.
Sucking air into my lungs, I screamed.
His chest heaved as he growled, “Not so neat
and tidy when you’re the one getting fucked.”
“Crossfire,” I gasped.
A flash of light from the hallway blinded me,
followed by the blessed removal of Gideon’s
smothering weight. Rolling to my side, I sobbed,
my eyes streaming tears that blurred my view of
Cary shoving Gideon across the room and into
the wall, denting the drywall.
“Eva! Are you okay?” Cary turned on the
bedside light, cursing when he saw me curled in a
fetal position, rocking violently.
When Gideon straightened, Cary rounded on
him. “Move one fucking muscle before the cops
get here and I’ll beat you to a bloody pulp!”
Swallowing past my burning throat, I pushed up
to a seated position. My gaze locked with
Gideon’s and I watched the haze of sleep leave
his eyes, replaced by a dawning horror.
“Dream,” I choked out, catching Cary’s arm as
he reached for the phone. “He’s d-dreaming.”
Cary glanced at where Gideon crouched naked
on the floor like a wild animal. Cary’s arm
dropped back to his side. “Jesus Christ,” he
breathed. “And I thought I was fucked up.”
Sliding off the bed, I stood on shaky legs, sick
with lingering fear. My knees gave out and Cary
caught me, lowering to the floor with me and
holding me as I cried.
“I’m gonna crash on the couch.” Cary ran a hand
through his sleep-mussed hair and leaned into the
hallway wall. The door to my bedroom was open
behind me and Gideon was inside, looking pale
and haunted. “I’ll set out some blankets and
pillows for him, too. I don’t think he should go
home alone. He’s shredded.”
“Thanks, Cary.” The arms I had wrapped around
my middle tightened. “Is Tatiana still here?”
“Hell, no. It’s not like that. We just fuck.”
“What about Trey?” I asked quietly, my mind
already drifting back to Gideon.
“I love Trey. I think he’s the best person I’ve ever
met aside from you.” He bent forward and kissed
my forehead. “And what he doesn’t know won’t
hurt him. Stop worrying about me and take care of
you.”
I looked up at him, my eyes swimming in tears.
“I don’t know what to do.”
Cary sighed, his green eyes dark and serious.
“I think you need to decide if you’re in over your
head, baby girl. Some people can’t be fixed. Look
at me. I’ve got a great guy and I’m giving it to a girl
I can’t stand.”
“Cary…” Reaching out, I touched his shoulder.
He caught my hand and squeezed it. “I’m here if
you need me.”
Gideon was zipping up his duffel bag when I
returned to my room. He looked at me and fear
slithered in my gut. Not for me, but for him. I’d
never seen anyone look so desolate, so utterly
broken. The bleakness in his beautiful eyes
frightened me. There was no life in him. He was
gray as death with deep shadows in all the angles
and planes of his breathtaking face.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
He backed up, as if he wanted to be as far
away from me as he could get. “I can’t stay.”
It worried me that I felt a surge of relief at the
thought of being alone. “We agreed—no running.”
“That was before I attacked you!” he snapped,
showing the first sign of spirit in over an hour.
“You were unconscious.”
“You’re not going to be a victim ever again,
Eva. My God…what I almost did to you…” He
turned his back to me, his shoulders hunched in a
way that scared me as much as the attack had.
“If you leave, we lose and our pasts win.” I saw
my words hit him like a blow. Every light in my
room was on, as if electricity alone could banish
all the shadows on our souls. “If you give up now,
I’m afraid it’ll be easier for you to stay away and
for me to let you. We’ll be over, Gideon.”
“How can I stay? Why would you want me to?”
Turning around, he looked at me with such longing
it brought fresh tears to my eyes. “I’d kill myself
before I hurt you.”
Which was one of my fears. I had a difficult time
picturing the Gideon I knew—the dominant, willful
force of nature—taking his own life, but the
Gideon standing before me was an entirely
different person. And he was the child of a
suicidal parent.
My fingers plucked at the hem of my T-shirt.
“You’d never hurt me.”
“You’re afraid of me,” he said hoarsely. “I can
see it on your face. I’m afraid of me. Afraid of
sleeping with you and doing something that will
destroy us both.”
He was right. I was afraid. Dread chilled my
stomach.
Now I knew the explosive violence in him. The
festering fury. And we were so impassioned with
each other. I’d slapped his face at the garden
party, lashing out physically when I never did that.
It was the nature of our relationship to be lusty
and emotional, earthy and raw. The trust that held
us together also opened us up to each other in
ways that made us both vulnerable and
dangerous. And it would get worse before it got
better.
He shoved a hand through his hair. “Eva, I—”
“I love you, Gideon.”
“God.” He looked at me with something that
resembled disgust. Whether it was directed at me
or himself, I didn’t know. “How can you say that?”
“Because it’s the truth.”
“You just see this”—he gestured at himself with
a wave of his hand. “You’re not seeing the fuckedup,
broken mess inside.”
I inhaled sharply. “You can say that to me?
When you know I’m fucked up and broken, too?”
“Maybe you’re wired to go for someone who’s
terrible for you,” he said bitterly.
“Stop it. I know you’re hurting, but lashing out at
me is only going to make you hurt worse.” I
glanced at the clock and saw it was four in the
morning. I walked toward him, needing to get past
my fear of touching him and being touched by him.
He held up a hand as if to hold me off. “I’m
going home, Eva.”
“Sleep on the couch here. Don’t fight me about
this, Gideon. Please. I’ll worry myself sick if you
go.”
“You’ll be more worried if I stay.” He stared at
me, looking lost and angry and filled with terrible
yearning. His eyes pleaded with me for
forgiveness, but he wouldn’t accept it when I tried
to give it to him.
I went to him and took his hand, fighting back
the surge of apprehension that hit me when we
touched. My nerves were still raw, my throat and
mouth still sore, the memory of his attempts at
penetration—so like Nathan’s—were still too
fresh. “We’ll g-get through this,” I promised him,
hating that my voice quavered. “You’ll talk to Dr.
Petersen and we’ll go from there.”
His hand lifted as if to touch my face. “If Cary
hadn’t been here—”
“He was, and I’ll be fine. I love you. We’ll get
past this.” I walked into him, hugging him, pushing
my hands beneath his shirt to touch his bare skin.
“We’re not going to let the past get in the way of
what we have.”
I wasn’t sure which of us I was trying to
convince.
“Eva.” His returning hug squeezed all of the air
out of me. “I’m sorry. It’s killing me. Please.
Forgive me…I can’t lose you.”
“You won’t.” My eyes closed, focusing on the
feel of him. The smell of him. Remembering that I
once feared nothing when I was with him.
“I’m so sorry.” His shaking hands stroked the
curve of my spine. “I’ll do anything…”
“Shh. I love you. We’ll be okay.”
Turning his head, he kissed me softly. “Forgive
me, Eva. I need you. I’m afraid of what I’ll become
if I lose you…”
“I’m not going anywhere.” My skin tingled
beneath the restless glide of his hands on my
back. “I’m right here. No more running.”
He paused, his breath gusting harshly against
my lips. Then he tilted his head and sealed his
mouth over mine. My body responded to the
gentle coaxing of his kiss. I arched into him
without volition, pulling him closer.
He cupped my breasts in his hands, kneading
them, circling the pads of his thumbs over my
nipples until they peaked and ached. I moaned
with a mixture of fear and hunger, and he quivered
at the sound.
“Eva…?”
“I—I can’t.” The memory of how I’d woken up
was too fresh in my mind. It hurt me to deny him,
knowing he needed the same thing from me as I’d
needed from him when I told him about Nathan—
proof that the desire was still there, that as ugly as
the scars of our pasts were, they didn’t affect what
we were to each other now.
But I couldn’t give him that. Not yet. I felt too raw
and vulnerable. “Just hold me, Gideon. Please.”
He nodded, wrapping his arms around me.
I urged him to sink to the floor with me, hoping I
could get him to fall asleep. I curled into his side,
my leg thrown over his, my arm draped over his
hard stomach. He squeezed me gently, pressing
his lips to my forehead, whispering over and over
again how sorry he was.
“Don’t leave me,” I whispered. “Stay.”
Gideon didn’t answer, didn’t make any
promises, but he didn’t let me go either.
I woke sometime later, hearing Gideon’s heart
beating steadily beneath my ear. All the lights
were still on, and the carpeted floor was hard and
uncomfortable.
Gideon lay on his back, his beautiful face
youthful in sleep, his shirt lifted just enough to
expose his navel and the ripped muscles of his
abdomen.
This was the man I loved. This was the man
whose body gave me such pleasure, whose
thoughtfulness moved me over and over again. He
was still here. And from the frown that marred the
space between his brows, he was still hurting.
I slid my hand into his sweatpants. For the first
time since we’d been together, he wasn’t hot steel
in my palms, but he quickly swelled and thickened
as I tentatively stroked him from root to tip. Fear
lingered just beneath my arousal, but I was more
afraid of losing him than of living with the demons
inside him.
He stirred, his arm tightening around my back.
“Eva…?”
This time I answered him the way I couldn’t
before. “Let’s forget,” I breathed into his mouth.
“Make us forget.”
“Eva.”
He rolled into me, peeling my shirt off with
cautious movements. I was similarly tentative in
undressing him. We approached each other as if
each of us was breakable. The bond between us
was fragile just then, both of us apprehensive
about the future and the wounds we could inflict
with all of our jagged edges.
His lips wrapped around my nipple, his cheeks
hollowing slowly, his seduction subdued. The
tender suckling felt so good I gasped and arched
into his hand. He caressed my side from breast to
hip and back again, over and over, gentling me as
my heart raced wildly.
He kissed across my chest to the other breast,
murmuring words of apology and need in a voice
broken by regret and misery. His tongue lapped at
the hardened point, worrying it, before
surrounding it with wet heat and suction.
“Gideon.” The delicate pulls expertly coaxed
desire through my skittish mind. My body was
already lost in him, greedily seeking the pleasure
and beauty of his.
“Don’t be afraid of me,” he whispered. “Don’t
pull away.”
He kissed my navel, and then moved lower, his
hair caressing my stomach as he settled between
my legs. He held me open with shaking hands and
nuzzled my clit. His light, teasing licks through my
cleft and the fluttering dips into my trembling sex
took me to the edge of insanity.
My back bowed. Hoarse pleas left my lips.
Tension spread through my body, tightening
everything until I felt like I might snap under the
pressure. And then he pushed me into orgasm
with the softest nudge of the tip of his tongue.
I cried out, heated relief pulsing through my
writhing body.
“I can’t let you go, Eva.” Gideon levered over
me as I vibrated with pleasure. “I can’t.”
Brushing away the tear tracks from his face, I
stared into his reddened eyes. His torment was
painful for me to witness, hurting my heart. “I
wouldn’t let you if you tried.”
He took himself in hand and fed his cock slowly,
carefully into me. My head pressed hard into the
floor as he sank deeper, possessing my body one
thick inch at a time.
When I’d taken all of him, he began to move in
measured, deliberate thrusts. I closed my eyes
and focused on the connection between us. Then
he settled onto me, his stomach pressed to mine,
and my pulse leaped with panic. Abruptly
frightened, I hesitated.
“Look at me, Eva.” His voice was so hoarse it
was unrecognizable.
I did, and saw his anguish.
“Make love to me,” he begged in a breathless
whisper. “Make love with me. Touch me, angel.
Put your hands on me.”
“Yes.” My palms pressed flat to his back; then
stroked over the quivering muscles to his ass.
Squeezing the hard flexing flesh, I urged him to
move faster, plunge deeper.
The rhythmic strokes of his heavy cock through
the clenching depths of my sex pushed ecstasy
through me in heated waves. He felt so good. My
legs wrapped around his plunging hips, my breath
quickening as the cold knot inside me began to
melt. Our gazes held.
Tears coursed down my temples. “I love you,
Gideon.”
“Please…” His eyes squeezed shut.
“I love you.”
He lured me to orgasm with the skilled rolling of
his hips, stirring his cock inside me. My sex
clenched tightly, trying to hold him, trying to keep
him deep in me.
“Come, Eva,” he gasped against my throat.
I struggled for it, struggled to get past the
lingering apprehension that came from having him
on top of me. The anxiety mingled with the desire,
keeping me on edge.
He made a hoarse sound filled with pain and
regret. “Need you to come, Eva…need to feel
you…Please…”
Cupping my buttocks, he angled my hips and
stroked over and over that sensitive spot inside
me. He was tireless, relentless, fucking me long
and hard until my mind lost control of my body and
I came violently. I bit his shoulder to stem my cries
as I shook beneath him, the tiny muscles inside
me trembling with ecstatic ripples. He groaned
deep in his chest, a serrated sound of tormented
pleasure.
“More,” he ordered, deepening his drives to
give me that delectable bite of soreness. That he
once again trusted us both enough to introduce
that little touch of pain chased away the last of my
reservations. As much as we trusted each other,
we were learning to trust our instincts, too.
I came again, ferociously, my toes curling until
they cramped. I felt the familiar tension grip
Gideon and tightened my grasp on his hips,
spurring him on, desperate to feel him spurting
inside me.
“No!” He wrenched away, falling to his back and
throwing an arm over his eyes. Punishing himself
by denying his body the comfort and pleasure of
mine.
His chest heaved and glistened with sweat. His
cock lay heavily on his belly, brutal-looking with its
broad purpled head and thick roping of veins.
I dove for it with hands and mouth, ignoring his
vicious curse. Pinning his torso with my forearm, I
pumped him hard with my other fist and sucked
voraciously on the sensitive crown. His thighs
quivered, his legs kicking restlessly.
“Damn it, Eva. Fuck.” He stiffened and gasped,
his hands shoving into my hair, his hips bucking.
“Oh, fuck. Suck it hard…Ah, Christ…”
He exploded in a powerful rush that almost
choked me, coming hard, flooding my mouth. I
took it all, my fist milking pulse after pulse up the
throbbing length of his cock, swallowing
repeatedly until he shuddered with the surfeit of
sensation and begged me to stop.
I straightened and Gideon sat up and wrapped
himself around me. He took me back down to the
floor where he buried his face in my throat and
cried until dawn.
I wore a black long-sleeved silk blouse and slacks
to work on Tuesday, feeling the need to have a
barrier between myself and the world. In the
kitchen, Gideon cupped my face in his hands and
brushed his mouth across mine with heartrending
tenderness. His gaze remained haunted.
“Lunch?” I asked, feeling like we needed to
cling to the connection between us.
“I have a business lunch.” He ran his fingers
through my loose hair. “Would you come? I’ll make
sure Angus gets you back to work on time.”
“I’d love to come along.” I thought of the
schedule of evening events, meetings, and
appointments he’d sent to my smartphone. “And
tomorrow night we have a benefit dinner at the
Waldorf=Astoria?”
His gaze softened. Dressed for work, he looked
somber yet collected. I knew he was anything but.
“You really won’t give up on me, will you?” he
asked quietly.
I held up my right hand and showed him my ring.
“You’re stuck with me, Cross. Get used to it.”
On the drive to work, he cuddled me in his lap,
and again on the ride to lunch at Jean Georges. I
didn’t speak more than a dozen words during the
meal, which Gideon ordered for me and I enjoyed
immensely.
I sat quietly at his side, my left hand resting on
his hard thigh beneath the tablecloth, a wordless
affirmation of my commitment to him. To us. One
of his hands rested over mine, warm and strong,
as he discussed a new property in development
on St. Croix. We kept that connection throughout
the entire meal, each of us choosing to eat onehanded
rather than separate.
With each hour that passed, I felt the horror of
the night before drain away from both of us. It
would be another scar to add to his collection,
another bitter memory he’d always have, a
memory I would share and fear along with him, but
it wouldn’t rule us. We wouldn’t let it.
Angus was waiting to take me home when my day
ended. Gideon was working late, and then going
directly from the Crossfire to Dr. Petersen’s office.
I used the length of the drive to steel myself for the
next round of training with Parker. I debated
skipping it, but ended up deciding it was
important to keep to a routine. So much in my life
was uncontrollable at the moment. Following a
schedule was one of the few things totally within
my power.
After an hour and a half of tagging and
groundwork with Parker at the studio, I was
relieved when Clancy dropped me off at home
and proud of myself for working out when it was
the last thing I’d wanted to do.
When I stepped into the lobby, I found Trey
talking to the front desk.
“Hey,” I greeted him. “Going up?”
He turned to face me, his brown eyes warm and
his smile open. Trey had a gentleness to him, a
kind of straightforward naïveté that was different
from the other relationships Cary’d had before. Or
maybe I should just say Trey was “normal,” which
so few of the people in my and Cary’s lives were.
“Cary’s not in,” he said. “They just tried calling.”
“You’re welcome to come up with me and wait. I
won’t be going out again.”
“If you really don’t mind.” He fell into step beside
me as I waved at the gal at the front desk and
moved toward the elevators. “I brought something
for him.”
“I don’t mind at all,” I assured him, returning his
sweet smile.
He eyed my yoga pants and tank top. “You just
get back from the gym?”
“Yeah. Despite it being one of those days when
I’d rather have done anything else.”
He laughed as we stepped into the elevator. “I
know that feeling.”
As we rode up, silence descended. It was
weighted.
“Everything all right?” I asked him.
“Well…” Trey adjusted the sling of his
backpack. “Cary’s just seemed a little off the last
few days.”
“Oh?” I bit my lower lip. “In what way?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard to explain. I just feel like
maybe something’s up with him and I’m missing
what it is.”
I thought of the blonde and winced inwardly.
“Maybe he’s stressed about the Grey Isles job and
he doesn’t want to bother you with it. He knows
you’ve got your hands full with your job and
school.”
The tension in his shoulders softened. “Maybe
that’s it. It makes sense. Okay. Thank you.”
I let us in to the apartment and told him to make
himself at home. Trey headed to Cary’s room to
drop his stuff, while I went to the phone to check
the voice mail.
A shout from down the hallway had me reaching
for the phone for a different reason, my heart
thudding with thoughts of intruders and imminent
danger. More yelling followed, with one voice
clearly belonging to Cary.
I exhaled in a rush, relieved. With the phone in
my hand, I ventured to see what the hell was going
on. I was nearly run over by Tatiana rounding the
hallway corner still buttoning her blouse.
“Oops,” she said, with an unapologetic grin.
“See ya.”
I couldn’t hear the door shut behind her over
Trey’s shouting.
“Fuck you, Cary. We talked about this! You
promised!”
“You’re blowing this out of proportion,” Cary
barked. “It’s not what you think.”
Trey came storming out of Cary’s bedroom in
such a rush that I plastered myself to the hallway
wall to get out of his way. Cary followed, with a
sheet slung around his waist. As he passed me, I
shot him a narrow-eyed glance that earned me a
fuck-off middle finger.
I left the two men alone and escaped into my
shower, angry at Cary for once again ruining
something good in his life. It was a pattern I kept
hoping he’d break, but he couldn’t seem to kick it.
When I came out to the kitchen a half hour later,
the stillness in the apartment was absolute. I
focused on cooking dinner, deciding to go with a
pork roast and new potatoes with asparagus, one
of Cary’s favorite dinners, in case he was home
for dinner and needed some cheering up.
The sight of Trey stepping into the hallway while
I was putting the roast in the oven surprised me,
and then it made me sad. I hated to see him leave
looking flushed, disheveled, and crying. My pity
turned to fierce disappointment when Cary joined
me in the kitchen with the scent of male sweat and
sex clinging to him. He shot me a scowl as he
passed me on his way to the wine fridge.
I faced him with my arms crossed. “Screwing a
heartbroken lover on the same sheets he’s just
caught you cheating on isn’t going to make things
better.”
“Shut up, Eva.”
“He’s probably hating himself right now for
giving in.”
“I said shut the fuck up.”
“Fine.” I turned away from him and focused on
seasoning the potatoes to put in the oven with the
roast.
Cary grabbed wineglasses out of the cupboard.
“I can feel you judging me. Stop it. He wouldn’t be
half as pissed if it’d been a man he caught me
fucking.”
“It’s all his fault, huh?”
“Newsflash: Your love life isn’t perfect either.”
“Low blow, Cary. I’m not going to be your
punching bag over this. You messed up, and then
you made it worse. It’s all on you.”
“Don’t get on your damn high horse. You’re
sleeping with a man who’s going to rape you any
day now.”
“It’s not like that!”
He snorted and leaned his hip against the
counter, his green eyes filled with pain and anger.
“If you’re going to make excuses for him because
he’s sleeping when he attacks you, you’ll have to
make those same excuses for drunks and
druggies. They don’t know what they’re doing
either.”
The truth of his words struck me hard, as did the
fact that he was deliberately trying to wound me.
“You can put down a bottle. You can’t quit
sleeping.”
Straightening, Cary opened the bottle he’d
selected and poured two glasses, sliding one
across the counter toward me. “If anyone knows
what it’s like to be involved with people who hurt
you, it’s me. You love him. You want to save him.
But who’s going to save you, Eva? I’m not always
going to be around when you’re with him and he’s
a ticking time bomb.”
“You wanna talk about being in relationships
that hurt, Cary?” I shot back, deflecting him away
from my painful truths. “Did you screw Trey over to
protect yourself? Did you figure you’d push him
away before he had the chance to disappoint
you?”
Cary’s mouth curved bitterly. He tapped his
glass to mine, which still sat on the counter.
“Cheers to us, the seriously fucked up. At least we
have each other.”
He stalked out of the room and I deflated. I’d
known this was coming—the unraveling of
circumstances too good to be true. Contentment
and happiness didn’t exist in my life for more than
a few moments at a time, and they were really only
illusionary.
There was always something hidden. Lying in
wait to spring up and ruin everything.

Categories: Bared to You