Gideon found me in the shower the next morning.
He strode into the master bath gloriously nude,
moving with that sleek confident grace I’d admired
from the beginning. His hair framed his face and
shoulders in a sexy disheveled mane, a look that
screamed a woman had clenched the rough black
silk in greedy hands. Watching the flexing of his
muscles as he moved, I didn’t even pretend not to
stare at the magnificent package between his
legs.
Despite the heat of the water, my nipples
beaded tight and goose bumps raced across my
skin.
His knowing smile as he joined me told me he
knew exactly what kind of effect he had on me. I
retaliated by running soapy hands all over his
godlike body; then sitting on the bench and
sucking him off with such enthusiasm he had to
support himself with both palms pressed flat
against the tile.
His raw, raspy instructions echoed in my mind
the entire time I dressed for work, which I did
quickly—before he had a chance to finish his
shower and fuck the hell out of me as he’d
threatened to just before spurting fiercely down my
throat.
He’d had no nightmares during the night. Sex
as a sedative seemed to be working, and I was
extremely grateful for that.
“I hope you don’t think you’ve gotten away,” he
said when he prowled after me into the kitchen.
Immaculately dressed in a black pinstriped suit,
he accepted the cup of coffee I handed him and
gave me a look that promised all sorts of wicked
things. I saw him in his supremely civilized attire
and thought of the insatiable male who’d slipped
into my bed during the night. My blood quickened.
I was sore, my muscles thrumming with
remembered pleasure, and I was still thinking
about more.
“Keep looking at me like that,” he warned,
leaning casually into the counter and sipping his
coffee. “See what happens.”
“I’m going to lose my job over you.”
“I’d give you another one.”
I snorted. “As what? Your sex slave?”
“What a provocative suggestion. Let’s discuss.”
“Fiend,” I muttered, rinsing out my mug in the
sink and putting it in the dishwasher. “Ready? For
work?”
He finished his coffee and I held out my hand for
his mug, but he bypassed me and rinsed it out
himself. Another mortal task that made him seem
accessible, less of a fantasy I’d never have a
chance of holding on to.
He faced me. “I want to take you out to dinner
tonight, and then take you home to my bed.”
“I don’t want you to burn out on me, Gideon.” He
was a man used to being alone, a man who hadn’t
had a meaningful physical relationship in a long
time, if ever. How long before his flight instincts
kicked in? Besides, we really needed to stay out
of the public eye as a couple…
“Don’t make excuses.” His features hardened.
“You don’t get to decide I can’t do this.”
I kicked myself for offending him. He was trying
and I needed to make sure he got credit for that,
not discouragement. “That’s not what I meant. I
just don’t want to crowd you. Plus we still need to
—” “Eva.” He sighed, the hard tension leaving him
with that frustrated exhalation. “You have to trust
me. I’m trusting you. I’ve had to or we wouldn’t be
here now.”
Okay. I nodded, swallowing hard. “Dinner and
your place it is, then. I honestly can’t wait.”
Gideon’s words about trust lingered in my mind all
morning, which was a good thing when the
Google alert digest hit my inbox.
There was more than one photo this time
around. Each article and blog post had several
shots of me and Cary hugging good-bye outside
the restaurant where we’d had lunch the day
before. The captions speculated on the nature of
our relationship and some noted that we lived
together. Others suggested I was reeling in
“billionaire playboy Cross” while keeping my upand-
coming model boyfriend on the side.
The reason for the publicity became apparent
when I saw the picture of Gideon mingled with the
ones of me and Cary. It had been taken last night,
while I was watching movies with Cary and Trey—
and while Gideon was supposedly at a business
dinner. In the photo, Gideon and Magdalene
Perez smiled intimately at each other, her hand on
his forearm as they stood outside a restaurant.
The captions ranged between kudos for Gideon’s
“bevy of beautiful socialites” to speculation that he
was hiding a broken heart over my infidelity by
dating other women.
You have to trust me.
I closed my inbox, my breathing too quick and
my heartbeat too fast. Jealous confusion twisted
my gut. I knew he couldn’t possibly have been
physically intimate with another woman and I knew
he cared for me. But I hated Magdalene with a
passion—certainly she’d given me good reason
to during our bathroom chat—and I couldn’t stand
seeing her with Gideon. Couldn’t stand seeing
him smiling so fondly at her, especially after the
way she’d treated me.
But I put it away. I shoved it into a box in my
mind and I focused on my job. Mark was meeting
with Gideon tomorrow to go over the RFP for the
Kingsman campaign and I was organizing the
information flowing between Mark and the
contributing departments.
“Hey, Eva.” Mark poked his head out of his
office. “Steve and I are meeting at Bryant Park
Grill for lunch. He asked if you’d come. He’d like
to see you again.”
“I’d love to.” My whole afternoon brightened at
the thought of enjoying lunch at one of my favorite
restaurants with two really charming guys. They’d
distract me from thinking about the conversation I
was hours away from having with Gideon about
my past.
My privacy was clearly gone. I would have to
grow a set of balls and talk to Gideon before we
went out to dinner. Before he was seen in public
with me any further. He needed to know the risk
he was taking by being associated with me.
When I received an interoffice envelope a short
while later, I assumed it was a small mock-up of
one of the Kingsman ads, but found a note card
from Gideon instead.
Noon. My office.
“Really?” I muttered, irritated by the lack of
salutation and closing. Not to mention the lack of a
request. And who could forget the fact that Gideon
hadn’t even mentioned running into Magdalene at
dinner?
Had he invited her as his date in my stead?
That’s what she was there for, after all. To be one
of the women he socialized with outside of his
hotel room.
I flipped Gideon’s card over and wrote the
same number of words with no signature:
Sorry. Have plans.
A bratty reply, but he deserved it. When a
quarter to noon rolled around, Mark and I headed
down to the ground floor. When I was stopped by
security and the guard called up to Gideon to tell
him I was in the lobby, my irritation kicked into a
temper.
“Let’s go,” I said to Mark, striding toward the
revolving door and ignoring the pleas of the
security guard to wait a moment. I felt bad putting
him in the middle.
I saw Angus and the Bentley at the curb at the
same moment I heard Gideon snap out my name
like a whipcrack behind me. I faced him as he
joined us on the sidewalk with his face impassive
and his gaze icy.
“I’m going to lunch with my boss,” I told him, my
chin lifting.
“Where are you headed, Garrity?” Gideon
asked without taking his eyes off me.
“Bryant Park Grill.”
“I’ll see that she gets there.” With that, he took
my arm and steered me firmly toward the Bentley
and the rear door that Angus held open for me.
Gideon crowded in behind me, forcing me to
scramble across the seat. The door shut and we
were off.
I yanked the skirt of my sheath dress back into
place. “What are you doing? Besides
embarrassing me in front of my boss!”
He draped one arm over the back of the seat
and leaned toward me. “Is Cary in love with you?”
“What? No!”
“Have you fucked him?”
“Have you lost your mind?” Mortified, I shot a
glance at Angus and found him acting like he was
deaf. “Screw you, billionaire playboy with your
bevy of beautiful socialites.”
“So you did see the photos.”
I was so mad I was panting. The nerve. I turned
my head away, dismissing him and his idiotic
accusations. “Cary’s like a brother to me. You
know that.”
“Ah, but what are you to him? The photos were
amazingly clear, Eva. I know love when I see it.”
Angus slowed for a herd of pedestrians
crossing the street. I shoved the door open and
looked at Gideon over my shoulder, letting him
take a good look at my face. “Obviously, you
don’t.”
I slammed the door shut and set off briskly,
righteous in my anger. I’d fought back my own
questions and jealousy with herculean effort, and
what did I get for it? An irrationally pissed-off
Gideon.
“Eva. Stop right there.”
I flipped him the bird over my shoulder and
raced up the short steps into Bryant Park, a lushly
green and tranquil oasis in the midst of the city.
Just crossing up and over from the sidewalk was
like being transported to a completely different
realm. Dwarfed by the towering skyscrapers
surrounding it, Bryant Park was a garden land
behind a beautiful old library. A place where time
slowed, children laughed over the innocent joy of a
carousel ride, and books were treasured
companions.
Unfortunately for me, the gorgeous ogre from
one world chased me into the other. Gideon
caught me by the waist.
“Don’t run,” he hissed in my ear.
“You’re acting like a nut job.”
“Maybe because you drive me fucking crazy.”
His arms tightened into steel bands. “You’re mine.
Tell me Cary knows that.”
“Right. Like Magdalene knows you’re mine.” I
wished he had something near my mouth that I
could bite. “You’re causing a scene.”
“We could’ve done this in my office, if you
weren’t so damned stubborn.”
“I had plans, asshat. And you’re fucking them up
for me.” My voice broke, tears welling as I felt the
number of eyes on us. I was going to get fired for
being an embarrassing spectacle. “You’re fucking
up everything.”
Gideon instantly released me, turning me to
face him. His grip on my shoulders ensured I still
couldn’t get away.
“Christ.” He crushed me against him, his lips in
my hair. “Don’t cry. I’m sorry.”
I beat my fist against his chest, which was as
effectual as hitting a rock wall. “What’s wrong with
you? You can go out with a catty bitch who calls
me a whore and thinks she’s going to marry you,
but I can’t have lunch with a dear friend who’s
been pulling for you from the beginning?”
“Eva.” He cupped the back of my head with one
hand and pressed his cheek to my temple.
“Maggie just happened to be at the same
restaurant where I had dinner with my business
associates.”
“I don’t care. You want to talk about a look on
someone’s face. The look on yours…How could
you look at her like that after what she said to
me?”
“Angel…” His lips moved ardently over my face.
“That look was for you. Maggie caught me outside
and I told her I was heading home to you. I can’t
help how I look when I’m thinking about us being
alone together.”
“And you expect me to believe she smiled
about that?”
“She told me to tell you hello, but I figured that
wouldn’t go over well, and there was no way I was
ruining our night over her.”
My arms slid around his waist beneath his
jacket. “We need to talk. Tonight, Gideon. There
are things I have to tell you. If a reporter looks in
the right place and gets lucky…We have to keep
our relationship private or end it. Either would be
better for you.”
Gideon cupped my face and pressed his
forehead to mine. “Neither is an option. Whatever
it is, we’ll figure it out.”
I pushed up onto my toes and pressed my
mouth to his. Our tongues stroked and dipped, the
kiss wildly passionate. I was vaguely aware of the
multitude of people milling around us, the buzz of
numerous conversations, and the steady rumble
of the ceaseless midtown traffic, but none of it
mattered while I was sheltered by Gideon.
Cherished by him. He was both tormentor and
pleasurer, a man whose mood swings and volatile
passions rivaled my own.
“There,” he whispered, running his fingertips
down my cheek. “Let that go viral.”
“You’re not listening to me, you crazy stubborn
man. I have to go.”
“We’ll ride home together after work.” He
backed away, holding my hand until distance
pulled our fingers apart.
When I turned toward the ivy-draped restaurant,
I saw Mark and Steven waiting for me by the
entrance. They made such a pair with Mark in his
suit and tie, and Steven in his worn jeans and
boots.
Steven stood with his hands in his pockets and
big grin on his attractive face. “I feel like I should
applaud. That was better than watching a chick
flick.”
My face heated and I shifted on my feet.
Mark opened the door and waved me inside. “I
think you can ignore my previous words of
wisdom about Cross’s womanizing.”
“Thanks for not firing me,” I replied wryly as we
waited for the hostess to check our reservation
and table. “Or at least feeding me first.”
Steven patted my shoulder. “Mark can’t afford
to lose you.”
Pulling out a chair for me, Mark smiled. “How
else will I give Steven regular updates on your love
life? He’s a soap opera addict, you know. He
loves romantic dramas.”
I snorted. “You’re kidding.”
Steven ran a hand over his chin and smiled. “I’ll
never admit it one way or the other. A man’s got to
have his secrets.”
My mouth curved, but I was painfully aware of
my own hidden truths. And how quickly time was
passing before I’d have to reveal them.
Five o’clock found me steeling myself to divulge
my secrets. I was tense and somber when Gideon
and I slid into the Bentley, and my disquiet only
worsened when I felt him studying the side of my
averted face. When he took my hand and lifted it
to his lips, I felt like crying. I was still trying to
adjust after our argument in the park, and that was
the least of what we had to deal with.
We didn’t speak until we arrived at his
apartment.
When we entered his home, he led me straight
through his beautiful, expansive living room and
down the hall to his bedroom. There, laid out on
the bed, was a fabulous cocktail dress the color of
Gideon’s eyes and a floor-length black silk robe.
“I had a little time to shop before dinner
yesterday,” he explained.
My apprehension lifted slightly, softened by
pleasure at his thoughtfulness. “Thank you.”
He set my bag on a chair by the dresser. “I’d
like you to get comfortable. You can wear the robe
or something of mine. I’ll open a bottle of wine and
we’ll just settle in. When you’re ready, we’ll talk.”
“I’d like to take a quick shower.” I wished we
could separate what happened in the park from
what I had to tell him so that each issue was dealt
with on its own merits, but I didn’t have a choice.
Every day was another opportunity for someone
else to tell Gideon what he needed to hear from
me.
“Whatever you want, angel. Make yourself at
home.”
As I kicked off my heels and moved into the
bathroom, I felt the weight of his concern, but my
revelations would have to hold until I could
compose myself better. In an effort to gain that
control, I took my time in the shower.
Unfortunately, it made me remember the one we’d
taken together just that morning. Had that been
both our first and last as a couple?
When I was ready, I found Gideon standing by
the couch in the living room. He’d changed into
black silk pajama bottoms that hung low around
his hips. Nothing else. A small blaze flickered in
the fireplace and a bottle of wine sat in an icefilled
bucket on the coffee table. A grouping of
ivory candles had been clustered as a
centerpiece, their golden glow the only illumination
besides the fire.
“Excuse me,” I said from the threshold of the
room. “I’m looking for Gideon Cross, the man who
doesn’t have romance in his repertoire.”
He grinned sheepishly, a boyish smile so at
odds with the mature sexuality of his bared body.
“I don’t think about it that way. I just try to guess
what might please you, and then I give it a shot
and hope for the best.”
“You please me.” I crossed to him, the black
robe swaying around my legs. I loved that he’d put
on something that matched what he had given me.
“I want to,” he said soberly. “I’m working on it.”
Stopping in front of him, I drank in the beauty of
his face and the sexy way the ends of his hair
caressed the top of his shoulders. I ran my palms
down his biceps, squeezing the hard muscle
gently before stepping into him and pressing my
face into his chest.
“Hey,” he murmured, wrapping his arms around
me. “Is this about me being an ass at lunch? Or
whatever it is you need to say to me? Talk to me,
Eva, so I can tell you it’ll be okay.”
I nuzzled my nose between his pecs, feeling the
tickle of crisp chest hair against my cheek and
breathing in the reassuring, familiar scent of his
skin. “You should sit down. I have to tell you things
about me. Ugly things.”
Gideon reluctantly let me go when I pulled away
from him. I curled up on his couch with my legs
tucked underneath me and he poured us both
glasses of golden wine before taking a seat.
Leaning toward me, he draped one arm over the
back of the sofa and held his glass with the other
hand, giving me every bit of his attention.
“Okay. Here goes.” I took a deep breath before
starting, feeling dizzy from the elevated rate of my
pulse. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been
so nervous or sick to my stomach.
“My mother and father never married. I really
don’t know too much about how they met,
because neither of them talks about it. I know my
mom came from money. Not as much as she
married into, but more than most people have.
She was a debutante. Had the whole white dress
and presentation thing. Getting pregnant with me
was a mistake that got her disowned, but she kept
me.”
I looked down into my glass. “I really admire her
for that. There was a lot of pressure for her to
make the baby—make me—go away, but she
went through with the pregnancy anyway.
Obviously.”
His fingers sifted through my shower-damp hair.
“Lucky me.”
I caught his fingers and kissed his knuckles,
then held his hand in my lap. “Even with a kid in
tow, she was able to land herself a millionaire. He
was a widower with a son just two years older
than me, so I think they both thought they’d found
the perfect arrangement. He traveled a lot and
was rarely home, and my mom spent his money
and took over raising his son.”
“I understand the need for money, Eva,” he
murmured. “I have to have it, too. I need the power
of it. The security.”
Our eyes met. Something passed between us
with that small admission. It made it easier for me
to say what came next.
“I was ten the first time my stepbrother raped
me—”
The stem of his glass snapped in his hand. He
moved so swiftly he was a blur, catching the bowl
of his goblet against his thigh before it spilled its
contents.
I scrambled to my feet when he rose to his. “Did
you cut yourself? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he bit out. He went into the kitchen
and threw the broken glass away, shattering it
further. I set my own glass down carefully, my
hands shaking. I heard cupboards opening and
closing. A few minutes later Gideon returned with
a tumbler of something darker in his hand.
“Sit down, Eva.”
I stared at him. His frame was rigid, his eyes icy
cold. He scrubbed a hand over his face and said
more gently, “Sit down…please.”
My weakened knees gave out and I sat on the
edge of the sofa, pulling the robe tighter around
me. Gideon remained standing, taking a large
swallow of whatever was in his hand. “You said
the first time. How many times were there?”
I took conscious breaths, trying to calm myself.
“I don’t know. I lost count.”
“Did you tell anyone? Did you tell your mother?”
“No. My God, if she’d known, she would’ve
gotten me out of there. But Nathan made sure I
was too afraid to tell her.” I tried to swallow past a
tight, dry throat and winced at the painful
sandpapery burn. When my voice came again, it
was barely a whisper. “There was a time when it
got so bad I almost told her anyway, but he knew.
Nathan could tell I was close. So he broke my
cat’s neck and left her on my bed.”
“Jesus Christ.” His chest was heaving. “He
wasn’t just fucked up, he was insane. And he was
touching you…Eva.”
“The servants had to know,” I went on numbly,
staring at my twisted hands. I just wanted to get it
over with, to get it all out so I could put it back into
the box in my mind where I forgot about it in my
day-to-day life. “The fact that they didn’t say
anything either told me they were scared, too.
They were grownups and they didn’t say a word. I
was a child. What could I do if they wouldn’t do
anything?”
“How did you get out?” he asked hoarsely.
“When did it end?”
“When I was fourteen. I thought I was having my
period, but there was too much blood. My mother
panicked and took me to the emergency room. I’d
had a miscarriage. In the course of the exam they
found evidence of…other trauma. Vaginal and
anal scarring—”
Gideon set his glass down on the end table with
a harsh thud.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling like I might be
sick. “I’d spare you the details, but you need to
know what someone might dig up. The hospital
reported the abuse to child services. It’s all a
matter of public record, which has been sealed,
but there are people who know the story. When
my mom married Stanton, he went back and
tightened those seals, paid out in return for
nondisclosure agreements…stuff like that. But you
have a right to know that this could come out and
embarrass you.”
“Embarrass me?” he snapped, vibrating with
rage. “Embarrassment isn’t on the list of what I’d
feel.”
“Gideon—”
“I would destroy the career of any reporter who
wrote about this, and then I’d dismantle the
publication that ran the piece.” He was so cold
with fury, he was icy. “I’m going to find the monster
who hurt you, Eva, wherever he is, and I’m going
to make him wish he was dead.”
A shiver moved through me, because I believed
him. It was in his face. His voice. In the energy he
exuded and his sharply honed focus. He wasn’t
just dark and dangerous in his looks. Gideon was
a man who got what he wanted, whatever it took.
I pushed to my feet. “He’s not worth the effort.
Not worth your time.”
“You are. You’re worth it. Damn it. Goddamn it
to hell.”
I moved closer to the fireplace, needing the
warmth. “There’s also a money trail. Cops and
reporters always follow the money. Someone may
wonder why my mother left her first marriage with
two million dollars, but her daughter from a
previous relationship left with five.”
Without looking, I felt his sudden stillness. “Of
course,” I went on, “that blood money’s probably
grown to considerably more than that now. I won’t
touch it, but Stanton manages the brokerage
account I dumped it in and everyone knows he
has the Midas touch. If you ever had any concern
that I wanted your money—”
“Stop talking.”
I turned to face him. I saw his face, his eyes.
Saw the pity and horror. But it was what I didn’t
see that hurt the most.
It was my greatest nightmare realized. I’d
feared that my past might negatively impact his
attraction to me. I’d told Cary that Gideon might
stay with me for all the wrong reasons. That he
might stay by my side, but that I’d still—for all
intents and purposes—lose him anyway.
And it seemed I had.
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