Bared to You - Chapter 21

“Excuse me.” I pushed back from the table and
searched for Gideon. I saw him at the bar and
went to him.
He was just turning away from the bartender
with two glasses in his hands when I intercepted
him. I took my drink and gulped it down, my teeth
aching as the cubes of ice knocked against them.
“Eva—” There was a soft note of chastisement
in his voice.
“I’m leaving,” I said flatly, stepping around him to
set my empty glass on the bar top. “I don’t
consider that running, because I’m telling you in
advance and giving you the option of coming with
me.”
He exhaled harshly and I could see that he
understood my mood. He knew I knew. “I can’t
leave.”
I turned away.
He caught my arm. “You know I can’t stay if you
go. You’re upset over nothing, Eva.”
“Nothing?” I stared at where his hand gripped
me. “I warned you I get upset and jealous. This
time, you’ve given me good reason.”
“Warning me is supposed to excuse you when
you get ridiculous about it?” His face was relaxed,
his voice low and calm. No one looking from a
distance would pick up on the tension between us,
but it was there in his eyes. Burning lust and icy
fury. He was so good at putting those two
together.
“Who’s ridiculous? What about Daniel, the
personal trainer? Or Martin, a member of my
stepfamily?” I leaned closer and whispered, “I’ve
never fucked either of them, let alone agreed to a
marriage! I sure as hell don’t talk to them every
damn day!”
Abruptly, he caught me by the waist and hauled
me up tight against him. “You need to be fucked
now,” he hissed in my ear, nipping the lobe with
his teeth. “I shouldn’t have made us wait.”
“Maybe you were planning ahead,” I shot back.
“Saving it up in case an old flame popped back
into your life, one you’d prefer to screw instead.”
Gideon tossed back his drink; then he secured
me to his side with a steely arm around my waist
and led me through the crowd to the door. He
pulled his smartphone out of his pocket and
ordered the limo brought around. By the time we
reached the street, the long, sleek car was there.
Gideon pushed me through the door Angus held
open and told him, “Drive around the block until I
say otherwise.”
Then he slid in directly behind me, so closely I
could feel his breath against my bare back. I
scrambled toward the opposite seat, determined
to get away from him….
“Stop,” he snapped.
I sank to my knees on the carpeted floor,
breathing hard. I could run to the ends of the earth
and I still wouldn’t be able to escape the fact that
Corinne Giroux had to be better for Gideon than I
was. She was calm and cool, a soothing
presence even to me—the person freaking out
over the unwelcome fact of her existence. My
worst nightmare.
His hand twisted into my loose hair, restraining
me. His spread legs surrounded mine, his grip
tightening so that my head was pulled back gently
to touch his shoulder. “I’m going to give you what
we both need, Eva. We’re going to fuck as long
as it takes to dull the edge enough to get through
dinner. And you’re not going to worry about
Corinne, because while she’s inside the ballroom,
I’ll be deep inside you.”
“Yes,” I whispered, licking dry lips.
“You forget who submits, Eva,” he said gruffly.
“I’ve given up control for you. I’ve bent and
adjusted for you. I’ll do anything to keep you and
make you happy. But I can’t be tamed or topped.
Don’t mistake indulgence for weakness.”
I swallowed hard, my blood on fire for him.
“Gideon…”
“Reach up with both hands and hold on to the
grab handle above the window. Don’t let go until I
tell you, understand?”
I did as he ordered, pushing my hands through
the leather loop. As my grip secured, my body
sparked to life, making me aware of how right he
was about what I needed. He knew me so well,
this lover of mine.
Shoving his hands into my bodice, Gideon
squeezed my full, aching breasts. When he rolled
and tugged my nipples, my head lolled against
him, the tension leaving my body in a rush.
“God.” He nuzzled his mouth against my temple.
“It’s so perfect when you give yourself over to me
like that…all at once, as if it’s a huge relief.”
“Fuck me,” I begged, needing the connection.
“Please.”
Releasing my hair, he reached under my dress
and pulled my panties down my thighs. His jacket
flew past me to land on the seat; then his hand
pushed between my legs from the front. He
growled at finding me wet and swollen. “You were
made for me, Eva. You can’t go long without me
inside you.”
Still he primed me, running his skilled fingers
through my cleft, spreading the moisture over my
clit and the lips of my sex. He pushed two fingers
into me, scissoring them, preparing me for the
thrust of his long, thick cock.
“Do you want me, Gideon?” I asked hoarsely,
needing to ride his thrusting fingers, but
hampered by how far I had to reach to grab the
strap.
“More than my next breath.” His lips moved over
my throat and the top of my shoulder, the warm
velvet of his tongue sliding seductively across my
skin. “I can’t go long without you either, Eva.
You’re an addiction…my obsession…”
His teeth bit gently into my flesh, conveying his
animal need with a rough sound of desire. All the
while he fucked me with his fingers, his other hand
massaging my clit, making me come again and
again from the simultaneous stimulation.
“Gideon!” I gasped, when my damp fingers
began to slip from the leather.
His hands left me and I heard the erotic rasp of
his zipper lowering. “Let go and lie on your back
with your legs spread.”
I moved to the seat and stretched along it,
offering my body to him in quivering anticipation.
His gaze met mine, his face briefly lit by a passing
swathe of headlights.
“Don’t be afraid.” He came over me, setting his
weight onto me with excruciating care.
“I’m too horny to be scared.” I caught him and
pulled my body up to press against the hardness
of his. “I want you.”
His cock head nudged against the lips of my
sex. With a flex of his hips, he pushed into me, his
breath hissing just as mine did at the searing
connection. I went lax against the seat, my fingers
barely clinging to his lean waist.
“I love you,” I whispered, watching his face as
he began to move. Every inch of my skin burned
as if from the sun, and my chest was so tight with
longing and emotion that it was hard to breathe.
“And I need you, Gideon.”
“You have me,” he whispered, his cock sliding
in and out. “I couldn’t be more yours.”
I quivered and tensed, my hips meeting his
relentlessly measured drives. I climaxed with a
breathless cry, shuddering as the ecstasy rippled
through my sex, milking him until he grunted and
started powering into me.
“Eva.”
I rocked into his ferocious lunges, urging him
on. He clutched at me, riding me hard and fast. My
head thrashed and I moaned shamelessly, loving
the feel of him, that decadent sensation of being
possessed and ruthlessly pleasured.
We were wild for each other, fucking like feral
beasts, and I was so turned on by our primal lust I
thought I’d die from the orgasm building inside
me.
“You’re so good at this, Gideon. So good…”
He gripped my buttock and yanked me up to
meet his next thrust, hitting the end of me, forcing
a gasp of pleasure/pain from my throat. I came
again, clenching down hard on him.
“Ah, God. Eva.” With a serrated groan, he
erupted violently, flooding me with his heat.
Pinning my hips, he ground against me, emptying
himself as deep in me as he could get.
When he finished, he sucked in a harsh breath
and gathered my hair in his hands, kissing the
side of my damp throat. “I wish you knew what you
do to me. I wish I could tell you.”
I held him tightly. “I can’t help it that I’m stupid
over you. It’s just too much, Gideon. It’s—”
“—uncontrollable.” He started over again,
thrusting rhythmically. Leisurely. As if we had all
the time in the world. Thickening and lengthening
with each push and pull.
“And you need control.” I lost my breath on a
particularly masterful stroke.
“I need you, Eva.” His gaze was fierce on my
face as he moved inside me. “I need you.”
Gideon didn’t leave my side, or allow me to leave
his, the rest of the evening. He kept his right hand
linked with my left all the way through dinner, once
again choosing to eat one-handed rather than
release his hold on me.
Corinne—who’d taken a seat on the other side
of him at our table—gave him a curious look. “I
seem to remember you being right-handed.”
“I still am,” he said, lifting our joined hands from
under the table and kissing my fingertips. I felt
foolish and insecure when he did that—and
conscious of Corinne’s scrutiny.
Unfortunately, the romantic gesture didn’t keep
him from talking to Corinne throughout the meal,
not me—which left me feeling fidgety and
unhappy. I saw more of the back of Gideon’s head
than his face.
“At least it’s not chicken.”
I turned my head toward the man sitting beside
me. I’d been so focused on trying to eavesdrop on
Gideon’s conversation that I hadn’t paid any mind
to our tablemates.
“I like chicken,” I said. And I had liked the tilapia
served for dinner—I’d cleaned my plate.
“Not rubberized, certainly.” He grinned and
suddenly looked much younger than his pure white
hair would suggest. “Ah, there’s a smile,” he
murmured. “And it’s a beautiful one.”
“Thank you.” I introduced myself.
“Dr. Terrence Lucas,” he said. “But I prefer
Terry.”
“Dr. Terry. It’s lovely to meet you.”
He smiled again. “Just Terry, Eva.”
Over the course of the few minutes we’d
spoken, I’d come to believe Dr. Lucas wasn’t a
whole lot older than me, just prematurely gray.
Aside from that, his face was handsome and
unlined, his green eyes intelligent and kind. I
revised my guesstimate of his age to be mid-tolate
thirties.
“You look as bored as I feel,” he said. “These
events raise a considerable amount of money for
the shelter, but they can be dull. Would you like to
accompany me to the bar? I’ll buy you a drink.”
Beneath the table, I tested Gideon’s grip by
flexing my hand. His tightened.
“What are you doing?” he murmured.
Looking over my shoulder, I saw him watching
me. Then I watched his gaze lift as Dr. Lucas
stood behind me. Gideon’s gaze noticeably
cooled.
“She’s going to alleviate the boredom of being
ignored, Cross,” Terry said, setting his hands on
the back of my chair, “by spending time with
someone who’s more than happy to pay attention
to such a beautiful woman.”
I was immediately uncomfortable, aware of the
crackling animosity between the two men. I
tugged on his hand, but Gideon wouldn’t release
me.
“Walk away, Terry,” Gideon warned.
“You’ve been so preoccupied with Mrs. Giroux,
you didn’t even notice when I sat at your table.”
Terry’s smile took on an edge. “Eva. Shall we?”
“Don’t move, Eva.”
I shivered at the ice in Gideon’s voice, but felt
stung enough to say, “It’s not his fault he has a
point.”
Gideon’s grip tightened painfully. “Not now.”
Terry’s gaze moved to my face. “You don’t have
to tolerate him talking to you that way. All the
money in the world doesn’t give anyone the right
to order you around.”
Infuriated and horribly embarrassed, I looked at
Gideon. “Crossfire.”
I wasn’t sure I could use the safeword outside of
the bedroom, but he released me as if I’d burned
him. I shoved my chair back and threw my napkin
onto my plate. “Excuse me. Both of you.”
With my clutch in hand, I walked away from the
table, my stride easy and smooth. I made a
beeline toward the restrooms, intending to freshen
my makeup and collect myself, but then I saw the
lighted exit sign and went with my urge to bail.
I pulled out my smartphone when I hit the
sidewalk and texted Gideon; Not running. Just
leaving.
I managed to hail a passing cab, and headed
home to nurse my anger.
I was jonesing for a hot bath and a bottle of wine
when I reached my apartment. Shoving my key
into the lock, I turned the knob and stepped into a
porn video.
In the few shocked seconds it took for my brain
to register what I was seeing, I stood riveted on
the threshold, flooding the hallway behind me with
blaring technopop. There were so many body
parts involved, I had time to hastily slam the door
behind me before I pieced them all together. One
woman was spread-eagled on the floor. Another
woman’s face was in her crotch. Cary was
banging the hell out of her while another man was
drilling him in the ass.
I threw my head back and screamed bloody
murder, completely fed up with everyone in my life.
And because I was competing with the sound
system, I ripped off one of my heels and threw it in
that direction. The CD skipped, which jolted the
ménage a quatre in progress on my living room
floor into awareness of my presence. I limped
over and shut off the volume; then faced the lot of
them.
“Get the fuck out of my house,” I snapped.
“Right now.”
“Who the hell is that?” the redhead at the
bottom of the pile asked. “Your wife?”
There was a brief flash of embarrassment and
guilt on Cary’s face, and then he shot me a cocky
smile. “My roommate. There’s room for more,
baby girl.”
“Cary Taylor. Don’t push me,” I warned. “It’s
really, really not a good night.”
The dark-haired male on top disengaged from
Cary and stood, sauntering toward me. As he got
closer, I saw his hazel eyes were unnaturally
dilated and the pulse in his neck was throbbing
viciously. “I can make it better,” he offered with a
leer.
leer.
“Back the fuck up.” I adjusted my stance,
preparing to ward him off physically if necessary.
“Leave her alone, Ian,” Cary snapped, pushing
to his feet.
“Come on, baby girl,” Ian coaxed, making me
sick by using Cary’s pet name for me. “You need
a good time. Let me show you one.”
One minute he was inches in front of me, the
next he was sailing into the couch with a scream.
Gideon moved into place between me and the
others, vibrating with fury. “Take it to your room,
Cary,” he bit out. “Or take it somewhere else.”
Ian was squealing on my sofa, his nose
spraying blood despite the two hands he tried to
staunch it with.
Cary snatched his jeans off the floor. “You’re not
my fucking mother, Eva.”
I sidestepped around Gideon. “Wasn’t screwing
up with Trey enough of a fucking lesson for you,
you idiot?”
“This isn’t about Trey!”
“Who’s Trey?” The bottle blonde asked as she
got to her feet. When she caught a good look at
Gideon, she visibly preened, showing off an
admittedly pretty body.
Her efforts earned her a glance so disdainfully
dismissive and unimpressed that she finally had
the grace to blush and cover herself with a slinky
gold lamé dress she picked up off the floor. And
because I was in a mood, I said, “Don’t take it
personally. He prefers brunettes.”
The look Gideon shot me was lethal. I’d never
seen him look so livid. He was literally vibrating
with suppressed violence.
Frightened by that glare, I took an involuntary
step back. He cursed viciously and shoved both of
his hands through his hair.
Suddenly bone weary and desperately
disappointed with the men in my life, I turned
away. “Get this mess out of my house, Cary.”
I headed down the hallway, kicking off my other
heel en route. I was out of my dress before I
reached my bathroom and in the shower less than
a minute beyond that. I stayed out of the range of
the spray until the water warmed, and then I stood
directly beneath it. Too tired to stand for long, I
sank to the floor and just sat beneath the stream
with my eyes closed and my arms wrapped
around my knees.
“Eva.”
I cringed when I heard Gideon’s voice, and
tucked into an even tighter ball.
“Goddamn it,” he snapped. “You piss me off
worse than anyone else I know.”
I looked at him through the veil of my wet hair.
He was pacing the length of my bathroom, his
jacket shed somewhere and his shirt untucked.
“Go home, Gideon.”
He halted and shot me an incredulous look. “I’m
not fucking leaving you here. Cary’s lost his
damned mind! That amped-up asshole was
seconds away from putting his hands on you when
I got here.”
“Cary wouldn’t have let that happen. But either
way, I can’t deal with him and you at the same
time.” I didn’t want to deal with either of them,
actually. I just wanted to be alone.
“Then you’ll just deal with me.”
I scooped my hair back from my face with an
impatient swipe of my hand. “Oh? I’m supposed to
make you the priority?”
He recoiled as if I’d hit him. “I was under the
impression we were both each other’s priorities.”
“Yeah, I thought that, too. Until tonight.”
“Jesus. Will you drop it with Corinne already?”
He spread his arms wide. “I’m here with you,
aren’t I? I barely said good-bye to her because I
was chasing after you. Again.”
“Fuck you. Don’t do me any favors.”
Gideon lunged into the shower fully dressed. He
yanked me to my feet and kissed me. Hard. His
mouth devoured mine, his hands gripping my
upper arms to hold me in place.
But I didn’t soften this time. I didn’t give in. Even
when he tried coaxing me with lush, suggestive
licks.
“Why?” he muttered, his lips sliding down to my
throat. “Why are you driving me insane?”
“I don’t know what your problem is with Dr.
Lucas, and I honestly don’t give a shit. But he was
right. Corinne got way too much of your attention
tonight. You pretty much ignored me during
dinner.”
“It’s impossible for me to ignore you, Eva.” His
face was hard and tight. “If you’re in the same
room with me, I don’t see anyone else.”
“Funny. Every time I looked at you, you were
looking at her.”
“This is stupid.” He released me and shoved
the wet hair out of his face. “You know how I feel
about you.”
“Do I? You want me. You need me. But do you
love Corinne?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. No.” He shut the water off,
caging me to the glass with both arms. “You want
me to tell you I love you, Eva? Is that what this is
about?”
My stomach cramped as if he’d struck me with
the full force of his fist. I’d never felt that kind of
pain before, hadn’t known it existed. My eyes
burned and I ducked under his arm before I
embarrassed myself by crying. “Go home,
Gideon. Please.”
“I am home.” He caught me from behind and
buried his face in my soaked hair. “I’m with you.”
I struggled to get free, but I was too wiped out.
Physically. Emotionally. The tears came in a
torrent and I couldn’t stop them. And I hated crying
in front of anyone. “Go away. Please.”
“I love you, Eva. Of course I do.”
“Oh my God.” I kicked at him, flailing. Anything
to get away from the person who’d become a
massive source of pain and misery. “I don’t want
your fucking pity. I just want you to go away.”
“I can’t. You know I can’t. Eva, stop fighting.
Listen to me.”
“Everything you’re saying hurts, Gideon.”
“It’s not the right word, Eva,” he pressed on
stubbornly, his lips at my ear. “That’s why I haven’t
said it. It’s not the right word for you and what I feel
for you.”
“Shut up. If you care about me at all, you’ll just
shut up and go away.”
“I’ve been loved before—by Corinne, by other
women…But what the hell do they know about
me? What the hell are they in love with when they
don’t know how fucked up I am? If that’s love, it’s
nothing compared to what I feel for you.”
I stilled, trembling, my gaze on the mirror’s
reflection of my mascara-smeared face and
bedraggled wet hair next to Gideon’s ravaged
beauty. His features were overcome by volatile
emotion as he wrapped himself tightly around me.
We looked all wrong for each other.
And yet I understood the alienation of being
around others who couldn’t really see you or
chose not to. I’d felt the self-loathing that came
with being a fraud, portraying an image of what
you wished you could be but weren’t. I’d lived with
the fear that the people you loved might turn away
from you if they ever got to know the true person
hidden inside.
“Gideon—”
His lips touched my temple. “I think I loved you
the moment I saw you. Then we made love that
first time in the limo and it became something
else. Something more.”
“Whatever. You cut me off that night and left me
behind to take care of Corinne. How could you,
Gideon?”
He released me only long enough to scoop me
up and carry me over to where my bathrobe hung
from a hook on the back of the door. He bundled
me up; then had me sit on the edge of the tub
while he went to the sink and pulled my makeup
removal wipes out of the drawer. Crouching in
front of me, he stroked the cloth over my cheek.
“When Corinne called during the advocacy
dinner, it was the perfect time to make me do
something stupid.” His gaze was soft and warm
on my tear-streaked face. “You and I had just
made love, and I wasn’t thinking clearly. I told her I
was busy and that I was with someone, and when I
heard the pain in her voice, I knew I had to deal
with her so I could move forward with you.”
“I don’t understand. You left me behind for her.
How does that move us forward?”
“I screwed up with Corinne, Eva.” He tilted my
chin back to rub at my raccoon eyes. “I met her my
first year at Columbia. I noticed her, of course.
She’s beautiful and sweet, and never had an
unkind word to say about anyone. When she
pursued me, I let myself be caught and she
became my first consensual sexual experience.”
“I hate her.”
That made his mouth curve slightly.
“I’m not kidding, Gideon. I’m sick with jealousy
right now.”
“It was just sex with her, angel. As raw as you
and I fuck, it’s still making love. Every time, from
the very first time. You’re the only one who’s ever
gotten to me that way.”
I heaved out a breath. “Okay. I’m marginally
better.”
He kissed me. “I guess you could say we dated.
We were exclusive sexually and we often ended
up going to the same places as a couple. Still,
when she told me she loved me, I was surprised.
And flattered. I cared about her. I enjoyed
spending time with her.”
“Still do, apparently,” I muttered.
“Keep listening.” He chastised me with a tap of
his finger to the end of my nose. “I thought maybe I
might love her, too, in my own way…the only way I
knew how. I didn’t want her to be with anyone else.
So I said yes when she proposed.”
I jerked back to look at him. “She proposed?”
“Don’t look so shocked,” he said wryly. “You’re
bruising my ego.”
Relief flooded me in a rush that made me dizzy.
I threw myself at him, hugging him as tight as I
could.
“Hey.” His returning embrace was just as fierce.
“You okay?”
“Yes. Yes, I’m getting there.” I pulled back and
cupped his jaw in my hand. “Keep going.”
“I said yes for all the wrong reasons. After two
years of hanging out, we’d never spent a full night
together. Never talked about any of the things I
talk to you about. She didn’t know me, not really,
and yet I convinced myself that being loved at all
was something to hang on to. Who else was
going to do it right, if not her?”
He moved his attention to my other eye,
cleaning away the black streaks. “I think she was
hoping that being engaged would take us to a
different level. Maybe I’d open up more. Maybe
we’d stay the night at the hotel—which she thought
was romantic, by the way—instead of calling it an
early night because of classes in the morning. I
don’t know.”
I thought it sounded terribly lonely. My poor
Gideon. He’d been alone for so long. Maybe his
whole life.
“And maybe when she broke it off after a year,”
he went on, “she was hoping that would kick-start
things, too. That I’d make a bigger effort to keep
her. Instead, I was relieved because I’d started to
realize it was going to be impossible to share a
home with her. What excuse was I going to come
up with to sleep in separate rooms and have my
own space?”
“You never considered telling her?”
“No.” He shrugged. “Until you, I didn’t consider
my past an issue. Yes, it affected certain ways I
did things, but everything had its place and I
wasn’t unhappy. In fact, I thought I had a
comfortable and uncomplicated life.”
“Oh, boy.” My nose wrinkled. “Hello, Mr.
Comfortable. I’m Miss Complicated.”
His grin flashed. “Never a dull moment.”

Categories: Bared to You